We survived!

Somehow we survived Ava's first week of kindergarten. It has not been too easy getting out the door by 7:40 (we used to wake up at this time) but we have all managed to be successful! Only once did she forget her glasses but she told me not to worry - she would be okay. Well thank you Ava for the reminder!

So far Ava seems to be having a great time. She did say she has seen quite a few beatles flying around at recess which put her in a slight panic but she also keeps telling me that they plan to have a dance party at school one day - she just doesn't know which day yet. And maybe I should actually believe her - after all, she was the one telling me she was in a class with first graders and I thought she was completely mistaken (she is in a class with first graders).

Ava basically towers over all of the other children. As she lines up in the morning with her teacher, I have no trouble spotting her above all the other kids. She's also gone to the treasure chest once (she was thrilled) and even got to do some math work on a computer at school - although she did say there were not enough computers for everyone so those kids had to use ipads.

When I was in kindergarten, I think this was my first time ever using scissors and all we did was spread some chunky paste around a piece of paper and glue things on. I remember one time a child threw up and I was grossed out. But that was basically it - you used paste, some ate it, and you went home. It is crazy that times have changed quite a bit. My daughter thinks it's completely normal that ipads are part of your school day. Who would've thought?!

So, so far so good with the school thing. There is some homework every night so that totally stinks - Ava's handling that better than I am. But she's doing great.

And when they finally have their dance party, I will let you all know!

-Emily

I Hope I Don't Get Huge

So yes, I am pregnant! Finally! And I must say, I am looking forward to being pregnant this time because there are so many things I wish I would have done while I was pregnant the first time.

Starting with:

1) When people just reach out and randomly touch my belly, I am sooo looking forward to reaching out and grabbing them in return! Why did I never do this while I was pregnant with Ava?! I just sort of stood there at Costco while the random lady came over to me and started to violate me. I will definately be reaching out to return the favor!

2) A person once trying to be wise told me, "Now I'm not saying starve yourself, but just eat enough for the baby." We all know they really meant to basically starve myself and looking back I laugh at how funny some people are and the crazy things they say. Now don't get me wrong - I don't want to be a huge elephant but I am starting off this pregnancy heavier than what I was with Ava so part of me is freaking out that I will look quite scary walking down the street. But what are you gonna do, what are you gonna do? (you really have to say it twice for the effect). So I'm planning on eating but not stuffing myself.

3) Our house and hospital room may be closed off to others. Yes, I get some people may be offended when they come to see us and we have a sign up or something saying sorry-we-are-resting - we will let you know when we are ready for visitors. But I remember crying when I had Ava and we had had people coming to visit us all darn day and the thing I wanted the most was for people to LEAVE. I wanted time with just Ava and Tony. I remember just wanting the room to ourselves so that I could try and breastfeed without a room full of spectators. I was in pain everywhere - I had an incision across my abdomen, my nipples were bleeding, I hadn't showered yet, I still had a catheter in - EVERYONE GET OUT!!! is what I wanted to say. But I think I just tried to smile and please everyone. But no, not this time - sorry. I want to just enjoy the peace and newness of our new addition and help Ava transition well too without being overloaded and overwhelmed.

So maybe I feel more bold this time around being pregnant since it's familiar to me. I feel in more of a protective mode maybe. What I do know for sure is that Ava, Tony, and I are so excited about adding another child to our family. And I can't wait to see Ava in her role as Big Sister. She is so loving already and has such a kind heart. I can't wait to see how everything unfolds for us as this is something we have been praying about for a long time. I love sitting back, peacefully watching how everything in His time works out so much better than when it's on my time. And this is now the right time :)

-Emily

Pretty Little Liars

Why am I watching this show now called Pretty Little Liars? Why can I not wait until everyone is asleep in my house and then I put my earplugs in to watch this? I think this is the idiot part of me that is being kept awake and entertained by this show. Because some of the stuff that happens in this show is just plain crazy. For instance, no one EVER calls the police, people find out they have been stalked and find pictures of themselves taken by the stalker but still NO ONE closes any of the blinds in their house. It's like, "yeah here I am - take more pictures of me, I left the curtain up for you." I almost scream out loud when I see this, but yet, night after night, I keep watching. Ugh, what am I doing?!

But maybe it's a good thing to have something silly to be entertained by? Probably not, but that will be my excuse. Life gets pretty crazy with everything going on - mostly with my work which can be pretty intense (I work with teams who help kids who are removed from their home or are almost going to be removed from their home and I am on call 24/7 so I hear a lot of crazyness). So at the end of a crazy day where a child has OD'd or they were taken to a psyc hospital, or an entire school district has told us they won't let a kid back into any of their schools for a particular reason, I guess that's why it's nice to just watch Pretty Little Liars. Kind of makes me forget about all of the crazyness in the world.

I also think that's why I love the idea of Mary Poppins. She comes to help the parents. Because all of these kids that I hear about at my work are all identified as the "problem" but when our teams go into these homes, man - if only their caregivers would realize what they are doing. Very, very sad. The dynamics in these homes are just very very sad.

So what a relief to come home to OUR HOME where I get to see Ava and Tony and our little min pin Rubi Mae. And how wonderful it is to see Ava run up to Tony to hug him and hear her pray for her food in the morning. And oh do I just love it when we have the music going, and Ava's playing, and our dog is running around, and then we decide to drive down to oceanside and see the Ford family, but we stop on the way at a viewpoint to see the ocean . . . I just love it. No, we are not perfect by any means, but man, we have fun and our daughter knows what love is.

So that's what I try and help the teams convey to the families they work with - the environment they are creating can be recreated so that they can have peace, and structure, and fun, trust, and safety. But it's a difficult task and sometimes, many things are working against the families. But I'm not giving up - we still try every day. And watching Pretty Little Liars . . . I think I will keep enjoying it :)

-Emily


“Things usually work out in the end."
"What if they don't?"
"That just means you haven't come to the end yet.”
-Jeannette Walls, The Glass Castle

My Love of Poppins

So, for those of you who know me, you know that I love love love Mary Poppins. And not just the movie with Julie Andrews either - the books by P.L. Travers as well. But the movie is by far my favorite. And, there is a movie coming out this December called Saving Mr. Banks. And it just looks wonderful. Tony has already promised to take me to see it (thank you Tony!)

Ava first saw Mary Poppins when she was two and then any time she wanted to watch it, she would say, "Pop!" One of our Christmas card photos was taken with Mary & Bert at Disneyland. I have a Christmas ornament of the umbrella with the parrot as the handle. My sister gave me a print of a picture with items from the movie. I really do love Mary Poppins.

But the reason why I love Mary Poppins all has to do with why she comes into the home of the Banks' family - she came so that the father would understand that his children need him. I love at the end of the movie when Mary is leaving and the parrot on her umbrella handle tells her, "They didn't even say goodbye - you know (the children) think more of their father than they do of you?" Mary: "That's as it should be." I love Mary Poppins.

Now Ava loves her daddy a whole whole bunch, and oh, does he love her so much too. Even before Ava was born, Tony would sing to her "Stand by Me". And just after she was born, I woke up one morning and I could hear him singing it to her as he rocked her in his arms. She was just a few days old.

I love that Tony gets to be with his daughter every single day of her life. He is there for the breakfasts, the meltdowns, the band-aids, the smiles, the prayers - all of it. And that's as it should be.

-Emily

Letter to my Ava

To my Ava,

It was just a slip-n-slide my girl. It's okay that you didn't quite know how to use the small, blow up kick board that came with it to slide down the thin piece of plastic. There was no need for tears, or to shout "I don't know how to do it!" I'm so sorry.

You have to understand that we may feel foolish and unsure of ourselves at times. And for some of us (myself included), it is a very uncomfortable feeling to try something new or to possibly mess up. But it will be okay. I promise. It was just a slip-n-slide.

But I know it meant more to you than just sliding down a piece of plastic that was so thin, and cheaply made. You worry about doing things right and not messing up. I get it. I'm just like you.

Oh but my girl - we will mess up every day. Even though we try not to. And it's okay to look silly, and to mess up - we will be okay.

I hope I haven't made you worry about always doing things right. And I can hear you right now if you were awake respond with, "But no one's perfect mommy - only God is perfect." So please remember that my girl.

Please remember that we can try really hard to do things well. But know we will mess up. And we can laugh about it. Or cry about it. But know this - that's why we needed a Savior. Not to make sure we go down slip-n-slides perfectly but to remind us that that's not what we need to worry about. Because, in the end, it's not about slip-n-slides. And I have to try everyday to remember why I am hear on earth. And then when we feel unsure about something, we just have to remember that our top priority is to bring Glory to God.

I am here to help you, my girl. I will try to mirror for you how to remain calm even though you are getting frustrated. I know what that feels like - oh believe me, I do. I don't want to frustrate you - but I know if you will just try, you might find yourself having a great time. Like you did today. You ended up having a great time.

Know this - I love you with all my heart. I love when you act silly. I love when you mess up - not because I enjoy watching you get frustrated but because I know that in the past, you wouldn't have tried at all. So this is a big step for you in some ways.

Keep trying, my girl. Because you really are brave. And you really are good at so many things. But it's not those things that make us proud. It is your kind heart. And your sensitivity. And your honesty. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. And we love you far more than words could ever convey . . .


-Mommy

Great Pico de Gallo

Ok so I wanted to share a quick, very easy recipe for pico de gallo. Many people may think this is all I am able to make since I often bring it/make it for gatherings, but for the record, I can make/cook a few other things that are pretty darn good (but not many).

So your ingredients:

1 bushel of cilantro
chopped tomatoes
chopped onions
El Pato yellow chiles
Salt
Very little pepper (I do two taps/shakes)
Very little garlic salt (I do 1 shake)

Now, I always buy already chopped tomatoes and onions from fresh & easy because chopping tomatoes is messy and ain't nobody got time for that. So if I'm making a good sized amount of this stuff, I literally dump 3 packages of chopped tomatoes into a bowl and about half of 1 package of chopped onions. I think each package is about 8 oz or so.

Mix together:
Chopped tomatoes
Chopped onions
Finely chopped cilantro (you'll probably use at least half of your bushel)
Pour in ONLY THE JUICE of the yellow el pato chiles into mixture (now don't pour in the whole darn thing - do about half first and see how that leaves you - add more if needed)
Stir

I then shake in a generous amount of salt, tad bit of pepper, and a tad bit of garlic salt. I have chips on hand to sample my product and then decide what I need to add more of.

Note about the yellow chiles: DO NOT (if you can help it) buy any other brand of yellow chiles other than the El Pato brand. I have tried about three other brands and none of them have the same taste I am looking for than the El Pato brand. I get mine at Ralphs - they do not carry it everywhere. You'll find it in the mexican food aisle (I always find mine on the bottom shelf).

So that's it! It's quick and easy if you already buy the tomatoes and onions chopped - the only thing that takes the longest is washing and chopping up the cilantro (but seriously, than takes 4 mins and 37 seconds).

Enjoy!!

-Em

I can see where this is going

I love phrases, I love quotes, and I love cracking up. So today on pintrest I saw a little caption which explained whenever someone tells you something or asks a question, you say "I can see where this is going." And because I'm a nerd, I cracked up.

I looovvvee cracking up laughing. It is one of my favorite pastimes. And I find I do it quite often whether I'm with my husband, my sister, mom, Ava, - really, with just about anyone. I find myself in situations which later I end up finding hysterical so I have to tell someone about them and then I end up cracking up laughing even more. Like the time I began to have a coughing attack ordering some pizza and the young girl behind the counter kept asking for my name so she could print it on my receipt/order slip to let me know when it was ready - but I kept coughing and couldn't manage to spit out what my three-syllable name was and while I finally managed to hold up an index finger as an indication to "hold on please for my name until my coughing attack subsides" she still just stood there looking at me. She didn't even run for water or appear concerned - she just seemed bored while I could have actually been dying. So finally she just punched something into the computer and handed me my order slip. I walked shamefully over to the one chair in the pizza waiting area, looked at my receipt, and saw she had picked a name for me - and she had named me Lady. I totally wish I would have saved that receipt! But I'm also not a hoarder so I'm glad I didn't. But I cracked up laughing later! And maybe you are not laughing at all and you're wondering why I found it funny, so if that's the case - I feel dumb. But I don't think I'm too dumb usually so no matter.

I love when Ava cracks up laughing. For those of you who have kids, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It warms my heart and even makes me laugh when I see Ava just crack up. Her eyes glisten and shine because she's laughing so hard, she's almost crying. She can hardly take a breath, she can't talk, and she is just loving the feeling of laughing so hard. And I pray in those moments that she remembers all the fun she has and knows how to have. Because life is tough. I pray she stays close to the Lord because this will make all the difference.

So I hope all of you have a moment this week to crack up laughing because those moments are out there! (But they shouldn't be at anyone's expense because that's downright mean!) I don't know why I felt the need to put that little disclaimer in BTW - that could be a little of that OCD in me coming out.

Have a great week!


From the movie Mary Poppins:
"The more I laugh
The more I fill with glee
And the more the glee
The more I'm a merrier me"

-Emily