Her Tribe

I've been dying to tell you this story. Seriously dying. Because it's been a life changer. And who doesn't love life changing stories? Whack jobs I tell you. Whack jobs don't like life changing stories. And bitter people. But there's oils for them so it's okay.

Once upon a time there was a mom. And her daughter was sick. So she found something different and everything changed.

And then she had to tell everyone. Because when things change your life, you tell people.

And then other people started to love them. And everyone celebrated together. Because more lives were changing.

And in the midst of everything, a mom found her tribe. Because she had been lost for a while. Didn't have many friends really. Was tired a lot and never did her hair. Was in a rut. Remembered a time she felt beautiful. But it seemed so long ago.

And now she was talking to people. And texting throughout the day. And helping, and learning, and listening. And doing her hair. And meeting people for coffee. Her tribe.

She was booking plane tickets to Idaho (you da pimp - couldn't resist - sorry) on a whim. And texting her mom and sister at night saying, "You want to go to Idaho?" And they're like, "Yes, we'll go with you." So now she's basically a world traveler.

But most importantly, she is seeing why the good Lord brought her to this journey. And seeing it all come together. And it all started with her daughter.

Miss Ava.

Ava, who's name came to me in a dream and when I woke up in the morning (before I even knew I was having a girl), I told Tony - "we have to name her Ava." Because in my dream, I was a nurse helping deliver a baby. And when the baby was born, I asked her name and the mother told me Ava. And I picked up the phone and called Tony to tell him that the lady named her daughter what we named our daughter. And when the day came when I was going to have our baby, I was heading in for my c-section after being in labor forever, and the nurse says "what are you naming her?" And as I told her, the nurse says, "Why, that's my name."

Our daughter's name is supposed to be Ava.

So now there's this group of people. Who support one another. And help each other. And pray for each other. And it's life changing too. And why aren't you a part of it yet?

The end.

-Emily

We're saving

In one year, Tony and I will have been married 10 years. CRAZY to think that ten years have passed. Seriously crazy.

When we were planning our wedding, it wasn't hard. Our main goal was that everyone had a BLAST. We wanted people to dance. And crack up laughing. And just freaking have a great time. And when your focus is clear, everything heads in the right direction.

I remember vividly going to pick out our cake. And we were only going to pick out a cake because it was included in the price of the venue.

We showed up on a Saturday morning at 9am. The lady who was going to help us wasn't there yet. She was about 5 minutes late. We looked through a book, pointed to something that looked good, Tony took a few sample bites of cake, picked something out - done. It took us about 4 minutes to pick out a cake that we wanted.

We stood up to leave and the lady said "Wait - I have more books for you to look through." And I thought to myself, "Why? It's a cake."

Because all it was was a freaking cake. This was a wedding we were planning. Not a marriage. Marriage has nothing to do with freaking cake. We were only picking out a cake because it came with the price. If we had it our way, we would have picked flan. Or arroz con leche. But we didn't have much money and our parents were helping us with the wedding. So cake it was. And it didn't freaking matter.

So we are now saving. Because next year is our tenth wedding anniversary. And we don't want cake.

We want freaking flan.

And we want to have a dinner with people at our favorite restaurant - Phlight.

It's kind of scary to put it down on paper. Your goals. But we're doing it.

We want an awesome dinner with awesome food. We want a babysitter at our house to watch children. We want to go to karaoke after to sing and crack up.

See, it's not about cake.

It's about serving others. We wanted other people to have a freaking blast at our wedding. We wanted to watch people have a grand ol' time. We had so many people come up to us to say "this is the best wedding ever!" Because that's what it was - a wedding. Not a freaking marriage.

Marriage is all about doing stuff for the other person. That's it. It's not "what can I get from this? what can I gain? How 'come he's not doing x, y, z?" Just stop. Just freaking stop.

Sometimes I have to tell myself to stop.

It's "What can I do for Tony?" What can I do to make sure he wants to come home to me EVERY SINGLE DAY?

Because I can be annoying. I can be cray cray.

I am a sinner.

But I love him, I do. I want him to be with me FOREVER.

And I will save and save and save to have a dinner where we give back to the people who are our family and friends and rocks.

We want to give a dinner to those who are part of our clan.

We are the Duals. The fab freaking Duals. And we want to share our tenth anniversary the way we feel is best.

Because at the end of the day, it's not what I get that matters, right?

It's the freaking flan :)

See ya'll next year folks.

-Emily

I see why people would run off

I totally get why some people may just drive off to get away. To get some sleep. To find some quiet.

If I ever did this, I would return. Probably after 3 days. Any longer, and the mommy guilt sets in. Plus I would really miss my husband and children. I do love them so dang much.

But I'm so tired. It's not just being a mommy. It's having hyperthyroidism too. I feel yucky quite often. My heart is always racing and I get agitated pretty quickly. I could see how driving off and sleeping for awhile sounds absolutely fabulous.

I've thought about where I would go. Idaho, Oregon, or somewhere in California. Because I know people there and I could visit them.

I have everything planned.

Day 1:
I would hide out at a salon/spa place all day and get multiple treatments: hair, massage, exfoliate, waxing, mud something. Just fabulous.
I'd go for an awesome vegan dinner with some really great adult beverages.
See a movie.
Go to sleep.

And the sleep would be glorious. There would be no child sucking me dry. Other children wouldn't be in the bed. There would be no crumbs in the bed from a child the day before. I wouldn't be teetering on the edge because of other bodies taking up space. I would just sleep until I woke up.

Day 2:
Breakfast and coffee at a hole in the wall place. I'd make friends with some people who worked there. We'd become facebook friends. I'd share my oils and they'd put joy all over themselves. We'd hug.

I'd walk around town and buy a few things. Call home. Find an awesome ice cream place.
Take a nap.

Go to a library.

Find an awesome place for dinner. Eat all of my own dinner. Children would not be eating my dinner. I would not order dinner thinking "what could I get that the baby could eat?"

I'd get dessert.

Call home.

Another glorious sleep.

Day 3:
Pack up.
Read at the airport if I traveled by plane.
Have one of those cinnabon cinnamon roll things. With extra frosting.
Hug my family.


But it wouldn't really be like this. I'd be pumping because you can't be away from a baby without pumping if you're nursing. I'd wonder what my children were doing, what they had for breakfast, did they watch too much tv, did they say something funny? I'd want to get home early to make sure laundry was done for the week. Do we have lunch stuff and snacks for Ava for school? Does Jack have enough baby food? You really can't rest, you know?

Maybe one day I'll do this. But actually no. I don't think so. I'd want Tony to come with me.

So now I just need the childcare  . . . . :)

What in the hey hey?

If I could rewind time back to when my Ava took meds for her asthma. If someone could tell me about oils before she got sick with pneumonia. But you know, I probably still would have rolled my eyes and said, "thanks but no thanks crazy lady."

Because when we're desperate, we'll do anything, amirite? We will buy crazy oils. We will rub them on our vita flex points (what in the world?!). We will wonder if the oils we bought are first distillation only, cold pressed, etc and then breathe a sigh of relief when you learn they are and are tested by 3rd party people.

You will get invited to a camping trip to YL's lavender fields in Utah. Because YL has their own farms don't cha know. Does your oil company have any of their own farms? Ugh, I sounded like an oil snob right there. #sorrynotsorry

And ya'll know I will use these forever. You know that right?

Because how can you not use something that made you throw away inhalers? How do you not use something that changed your life? How do you not tell the world?

Everyday I thank Him. Because He knows I prayed. And in the hospital, I prayed. And this oil journey has turned out to be freaking fabulous.

Just wanted to remind ya'll. ;)

Once upon a time

Once upon a time there was a girl. And she had some awesome friends and she laughed all the time and stayed up late. She was studious. And shy. And wanted to be cool.

And then once upon a time there was a girl. She used to lay in bed on the weekends and watch Law and Order: Criminal Intent. And had a crush on Vincent D'onofrio. And she used to do her hair and makeup. And sleep in. 

And then there was a girl who was married. And made dinner. And tortillas on the weekend. And loved her new life. And still slept in. 

And now there's a girl who's a mommy. And she's tired a lot. And goes to bed early. She never sleeps in and she doesn't care about being cool. She doesn't make tortillas anymore. She has a crush on her husband. She doesn't really do her hair. But she knows that doesn't matter. And she feels so loved. And knows that's all that matters now.

And she's the happiest person ever. 

The end. 

Hooter Hider

I basically wear my hooter hider all the time.  It's sort of part of my everyday outfit.  It's always draped around my neck.

My sister washed it for me the other day :) It had been awhile.

It is the same one I wore with Ava.

One day I won't be nursing babies. And that will be bittersweet. 

Nursing's tough at first.  You've just birthed a human and are exhausted.  You're the only one who can feed the baby.  All night long, a child is feeding from you. 

I remember when we first brought Ava home from the hospital. One morning Tony said, "wow, she slept so good last night. " Um yeah, that's because she was on my milk bags all night.  I'm glad you slept so soundly. Because I slept on my side with a child yanking on my boob for hours. And now that Jackson's bigger,  he can do crazy acrobatics while still staying attached to my feed bags. 

I haven't slept good in 7 years.

There's always something to listen for - a child's coughing,  baby's awake,  child makes their way into your bed, somebody peed. Did you lock the doors? Did you set the alarm?

Why do I even set the alarm anyway?  No one in this house has overslept since our first child was born. The power could go off and our cell phones could simultaneously die and we would still wake up at 6am.

And if a child does sleep longer than usual,  you worry even more - Why are they sleeping so long?  Do they have a temperature?  Are they feeling okay? So see,  there's no rest even when children do sleep.

I'm not complaining.  It's just the way it is right now.  I use a lot of oils and pray quite a bit.

And one day, I'll wish I was still a mommy to two little kiddos.

Where does the time go?

He ordered FOR me.

A few weeks ago, Tony and I went to dinner. I think it was our first date since having our son. But maybe not. It's hard to remember when you have a 9 month old feeding off your milk bags all night. But I'm almost positive. But not really.

We went to have a great dinner.

It was more than great.

Tony ordered for me. I had mentioned what I wanted but he took care of it all. Asked me my opinion sure - but took care of everything. If I needed another drink, he got it. When the server asked what we wanted, Tony did the talking. I just sat back and was taken care of.

It's not that I can't talk or order for myself - of course I freaking can. But to sit there and be taken care of by my husband and father to my children? Well that's quite possibly the sexiest thing ever.

Best dinner ever.

Best husband ever.

Best man ever.

The end.