Once upon a time

Once upon a time there was a girl. And she had some awesome friends and she laughed all the time and stayed up late. She was studious. And shy. And wanted to be cool.

And then once upon a time there was a girl. She used to lay in bed on the weekends and watch Law and Order: Criminal Intent. And had a crush on Vincent D'onofrio. And she used to do her hair and makeup. And sleep in. 

And then there was a girl who was married. And made dinner. And tortillas on the weekend. And loved her new life. And still slept in. 

And now there's a girl who's a mommy. And she's tired a lot. And goes to bed early. She never sleeps in and she doesn't care about being cool. She doesn't make tortillas anymore. She has a crush on her husband. She doesn't really do her hair. But she knows that doesn't matter. And she feels so loved. And knows that's all that matters now.

And she's the happiest person ever. 

The end. 

Hooter Hider

I basically wear my hooter hider all the time.  It's sort of part of my everyday outfit.  It's always draped around my neck.

My sister washed it for me the other day :) It had been awhile.

It is the same one I wore with Ava.

One day I won't be nursing babies. And that will be bittersweet. 

Nursing's tough at first.  You've just birthed a human and are exhausted.  You're the only one who can feed the baby.  All night long, a child is feeding from you. 

I remember when we first brought Ava home from the hospital. One morning Tony said, "wow, she slept so good last night. " Um yeah, that's because she was on my milk bags all night.  I'm glad you slept so soundly. Because I slept on my side with a child yanking on my boob for hours. And now that Jackson's bigger,  he can do crazy acrobatics while still staying attached to my feed bags. 

I haven't slept good in 7 years.

There's always something to listen for - a child's coughing,  baby's awake,  child makes their way into your bed, somebody peed. Did you lock the doors? Did you set the alarm?

Why do I even set the alarm anyway?  No one in this house has overslept since our first child was born. The power could go off and our cell phones could simultaneously die and we would still wake up at 6am.

And if a child does sleep longer than usual,  you worry even more - Why are they sleeping so long?  Do they have a temperature?  Are they feeling okay? So see,  there's no rest even when children do sleep.

I'm not complaining.  It's just the way it is right now.  I use a lot of oils and pray quite a bit.

And one day, I'll wish I was still a mommy to two little kiddos.

Where does the time go?