Spanking

The other day as I was walking back to my car after dropping off Ava at school, there was a mom with her children walking toward me. The mother looked mad and the little family kept walking while the mom kept talking when she finally just reached over and hit her son on the arm (maybe to be extra sure he got what she was trying to tell him?) Either way, I walked away very interested in the whole idea of spanking/hitting your children as "discipline."

Now, I'm sure she was upset about something - you could see it in her whole demeanor. And she didn't hit him hard or else I would like to think I would have said something. But it is fascinating to me that some people spank their children as a form of discipline. If you think about it, those that spank/hit their children cannot do it to anyone else. If someone I supervise at work does something wrong EVEN THOUGH I'VE TOLD THEM A MILLION TIMES THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S DONE AND NOW I AM FRUSTRATED I can't just reach over and whack them on their arm. If I do something at home and Tony hates my guts, he can't come over to me and hit me - he'll get arrested. But kids? Sure - go right on ahead and spank them.

Countless studies have shown that spanking your children is not effective and people tend to do it more out of frustration rather than "Okay Johnny, I'm going to spank you now with an open hand on your bottom because I didn't like how you just spoke to me and I'm doing this to correct your behavior." If you are trying to correct a child's behavior with hitting - what message does that send? "You did something wrong - now I can hit you." Totally illogical. Not to mention, when they get older, what are you going to do then?

Now, I have heard many tales of people spanking their children maybe once in their lives because of something just crazy that happened and the parent was freaked out - e.g. child walks out into the street and a car is coming so you hit them on their bottom as you yell. I can logically get that and maybe that will be me one day. I can also see myself pushing Tony or smacking him if he jumped out from behind a door and scared me half to death - I get it. But I don't get it when people spank as one of their primary ways of discipline.

Interesting fact: the United States passed an Animal Welfare Act in 1966 to help protect animals. Did you know that the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act wasn't passed until 1974? Now I'm not saying spanking is child abuse so don't go crazy. I just thought it was interesting that we had a law passed for animals before we did to legally protect children from abuse.

Now, I work somewhere where everyday I hear stories about families and their children who are taken away because of abuse. I have heard horrendous stories about sexual abuse that would make you want to vomit. I hear about the children who are malnourished and live outside under a tarp. Very sad world we live in. So if you do have your children, let's love them, show them patience, notice when they are getting tired so that we don't frustrate them, etc - because life goes by so fast, doesn't it? And I for one need to stop being so judgmental and start being more kind. And helpful. Rather than just talking all the time without doing. Because that's just as bad as spanking - maybe worse. Maybe that mom that I saw at Ava's school that hit her child on the arm has no one to talk to and her life feels out of control. Who knows. We can all be more kind. You never know what someone may be going through.

So just some thoughts I had to share . . . sort of a bummer topic I know. But children (especially babies) are on my mind (and bladder) all the time now so these things just pop up. Plus as you know we don't have cable at the Dual house so evenings can be very quiet. But in all seriousness, we can all love better. And then our children will see us loving others better, and then they will show love to others more, and then . . .

-Emily

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord . . . " Psalm 127:3