Letter to my Ava

To my Ava,

It was just a slip-n-slide my girl. It's okay that you didn't quite know how to use the small, blow up kick board that came with it to slide down the thin piece of plastic. There was no need for tears, or to shout "I don't know how to do it!" I'm so sorry.

You have to understand that we may feel foolish and unsure of ourselves at times. And for some of us (myself included), it is a very uncomfortable feeling to try something new or to possibly mess up. But it will be okay. I promise. It was just a slip-n-slide.

But I know it meant more to you than just sliding down a piece of plastic that was so thin, and cheaply made. You worry about doing things right and not messing up. I get it. I'm just like you.

Oh but my girl - we will mess up every day. Even though we try not to. And it's okay to look silly, and to mess up - we will be okay.

I hope I haven't made you worry about always doing things right. And I can hear you right now if you were awake respond with, "But no one's perfect mommy - only God is perfect." So please remember that my girl.

Please remember that we can try really hard to do things well. But know we will mess up. And we can laugh about it. Or cry about it. But know this - that's why we needed a Savior. Not to make sure we go down slip-n-slides perfectly but to remind us that that's not what we need to worry about. Because, in the end, it's not about slip-n-slides. And I have to try everyday to remember why I am hear on earth. And then when we feel unsure about something, we just have to remember that our top priority is to bring Glory to God.

I am here to help you, my girl. I will try to mirror for you how to remain calm even though you are getting frustrated. I know what that feels like - oh believe me, I do. I don't want to frustrate you - but I know if you will just try, you might find yourself having a great time. Like you did today. You ended up having a great time.

Know this - I love you with all my heart. I love when you act silly. I love when you mess up - not because I enjoy watching you get frustrated but because I know that in the past, you wouldn't have tried at all. So this is a big step for you in some ways.

Keep trying, my girl. Because you really are brave. And you really are good at so many things. But it's not those things that make us proud. It is your kind heart. And your sensitivity. And your honesty. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. And we love you far more than words could ever convey . . .


-Mommy