Maybe she wished she could lactate

I have so many questions for my dog child Rubi - does she regret not being able to have children? Does she wish she could lactate? All I know is this - anything breast milk touches, she chews up. It's like she's a freaking meth addict who waits until everyone leaves and then BAM - she's off to find her fix. She has eaten many of my shirts since we brought Jackson home from the hospital - she literally eats two holes through them - coincidentally enough, the holes happen to be in the exact same area where my milk bags reside when I am wearing the shirt. Hmmmm. Just the other day she somehow managed to pull my breast pump off of a stool, pull out the boob sucker things and ATE THEM TO PIECES. I yelled, she ran, and I had to run off to target that night to buy more lactation equipment. The VERY NEXT DAY she did the same thing.

That's when I got tears in my eyes.

I was so mad. I was so mad at my freaking dog. I was so mad at myself that I didn't put my pump up higher so that she couldn't reach it (I mean, I should have learned my lesson right? It was just 24 hours prior when she did the same thing), I was so mad that I feel like I run around all day and rush home as soon as I can to be with my babies. So there came the tears. 

I went to work today with only one suction cup breast thingy for my pump. Which means it would take me twice as long to pump since I could only do one side at a time. So when I was leaving for work this morning, I was not looking forward to my pumping sessions for the day. Then as I got halfway to work, I realized I didn't bring my freaking joy oil. Holy smokes. The day was not starting well. You know if I don't have my oils I may die right? 

So around noon, I shut and lock the door to my office, I pull out the one boob sucker thing, and I start making my free range, organic milk. With my other hand now free since I'm not pumping two boobs, I actually am able to drink my water, have a snack, play some candy crush, and sort of lean to the side in a relaxed position. 

Then the tears started again.

My boob suckers were meant to be eaten. I needed to only have one. I needed to sit and take my time - no rushing. I needed to stop and just be - the Lord needed me to just stop. JUST STOP. Don't rush. Take my freaking time. I am pulled in so many directions and I was losing my focus on the Lord. Because that's when everything starts to go wrong isn't it? When our eyes are not focused above. I have learned that lesson many times.

So I regrouped. I remembered why I am here on earth - to bring glory to God. That's it. That's the reason. 

My joy oil is ready for me in the kitchen when I wake up. I just washed my one boob sucker so that I can take it tomorrow to work. And now that I am reminded in a quite amusing way where the Lord needs to be, everything settles in quite nicely, doesn't it? 

And you know the tears started to flow again as I wrote that last part right? 

Yep, back on track.

-Emily