Laughter is the best medicine

Okay so question for those people out there that are crazy busy and you feel like you can't keep up with your home stuff, work stuff, clean up the yard crap, keep up with everything crap, etc.

So that is me. Like all the time. I'm always trying to keep up and be as efficient as I can. So, for instance, if I just changed Jack's diaper, as I walk out of his room to the kitchen trash can, it becomes a game for me to see what items I can pick up and put back in their place on the way to the kitchen trashcan. So that later I won't have to pick those things up. I can proudly announce that I did it in one swoop on my way to throw out a crap diaper. Bam! I know you are totally jealous of my skills.

So I clearly needed a weekend away to breathe, regroup, etc. With no children.

When was the last time you laughed your freaking head off? And was just yourself and didn't worry about judgement. You were just absolutely free.

So you can imagine how excited I was to have a weekend in Scottsdale, Arizona to relax, see my fellow lemondropper peeps, have a blast, etc. I was so freaking ready. And oh my gosh - we had the best time.

There were awesome people and awesome discussions going on. So much encouragement. And holy crap let me tell you - I laughed so hard all weekend.

That was seriously the best part. I freaking cracked up throughout the weekend which has left me feeling rejuvenated, connected, and free to be myself. There were random moments of running around a resort during a scavenger hunt trying to find photos. I was trying to hunt down someone dressed as a lemon so I could take a selfie with them. Say what?! There was a Target run (of course) where Missy Elliot is blaring out the windows and the guy in the car next to us didn't pull up next to us at the signal because, well heck, 3 moms blaring Get Ur Freak On from a Honda Pilot could seem crazy to some people. But you know what? Who the heck cares?

Why do I care about what people may think of me sporadically breaking out into a run to find a person dressed up as a lemon? Why do I need to worry about what people will think of me as I do a Whip Nae Nae at a conference? I don't! And it was so freeing.

A random bride and groom kept knocking at our door at midnight because they were trying to find their friends. So I go out to the balcony and yell loudly if it's Gladys. Because I thought it might be Gladys. This got the bride and groom to stop knocking.

My sister asks the server at the sushi place if the fish is firm while she is also making hand gestures which makes all of us crack up. Including the server. Who became really red and couldn't finish his speech about the fish because, hello - firm.

In the car on the drive there, I really wanted to blare some Peter Cetera from the car because I'm thinking Who Doesn't Love Peter Cetera? Well, apparently lot's of people don't love Peter Cetera. Two for sure don't - Natalie and Gladys (be prepared girls to get some happy mail with some peter cetera tunes included on a compact disc). Did I mention I'm a 33 year old mom of 2? Who's not apparently hip? Don't care! Love me some Peter Cetera!

On the drive home, we had to stop to pee. As we are waiting in line, there's two people taking up lots of time in the bathroom which can only mean one thing if you catch my drift. This is why you always need to be prepared with oils so you don't suffocate. Anyway, Nat then comes out of the bathroom hardly able to speak because she's cracking up so dang hard. She starts spitting out random sentences about the toilet and how whatever was in the bowl before her radiated heat. And how the lady before her must have held the heat in as she sat on the toilet. I'm telling you - HISSterical.

There was awesome conversations, goal setting, plans made, etc. And even texts this morning about how we are already working today on our goals. Because we have some pretty crazy big dreams. And guess what? We wrote them all down yesterday. Which makes things real and a little scary. But that's what Lemondroppers do - make really big crazy dreams and then hustle like crazy to make it happen. All while completely understanding that you are never too good to clean the floors. Serving others, encouraging others, helping others - what a wonderful tribe we have found.

You're Welcome

Simplify your life! Why would I waste time doing something when there's an easier way? I am going to share with you 10 ways I make my life easier. Hold on to your pants - you are about to be blown away. And disclaimer - I am typically behind the times with most things. We do not own cable television for instance so I never typically know what is going on in the world. So some of you will read this list and think, "my pants did not blow off." So I apologize ahead of time.

1. Online banking.

Who left of you is not doing this and why? I can't remember the last time I bought a stamp and I can't even tell you how much a stamp costs. 40 cents? No clue. Paying my phone, electric, and gas bill in 46 seconds while sitting on the toilet while my kids are in the bath is the best invention ever. EVER.

2. This thing:

Whatever the heck this thing is has saved me on many occasions. You use it to open lids. I got it as a wedding gift and it was one of the best gifts ever. This and my flower print screwdriver that comes apart and has any attachment you may need.

3. Dollar Shave Club.

Holy heck where has this been my whole life? Lets have a reenactment shall we?

(Tony yelling) "Babe we don't have any more razors!"

Me: "Not true my sweet potato! 5 new ones just came in the mail for $3.64. We never need to leave the house to buy razors again!"

Tony: "I knew I married you for a reason!"

4. Young Living Essential Oils.

Tummy stuff? Here's some peppermint. Feeling low? Here's some joy. Think you're sick? Diffuse some thieves. This stuff has saved my life and made my life so much easier since my friend told me about this two years ago.

But oh you picked up your lavender from CVS and also picked up a chemical burn in the process? No folks! Not a darn chance! I will only buy from YL. The purest of the pure, they've been in the essential oil business for 21 years so they have had a beautiful amount of time to learn how to achieve the purest of the pure essential oil, they have a Seed to Seal guarantee because their stuff is distilled slowly at low pressure low heat so as not to lose the therapeutic properties of the plant, you can visit their farms - you know I could go on and on right? They are the best of the best. Don't waste your money or time on anything else. And if you have, come to my house and we will compare our stuff. And I will win. Boom.

5. Winder Farms delivery.

Food delivered to my door every Tuesday morning that I have picked out the night before? So if I need something it just shows up and I don't have to leave my house with children or wondering if I put on deodorant? Yes please! Minimum purchase is $10 a week and you can skip weeks. Amazeballs.

6. AAA

I have been a member of AAA for about 12 years. Yes you can get a tow, jump, get your keys out of your locked car but this is not why I do it - never dealing with the DMV is why I do it. Tags expiring? Walk right into AAA and hand over your car registration money for those cute stickers that the government makes you get every year. Need to add your husband to the title of your car? AAA will do it! The DMV would mess that stuff up. And ruin your life.

7. Thieves Cleaner.

I use this stuff for everything. EVERYTHING. And you don't have to evacuate your family to use it. I spray it on my countertops, windows, mirrors, ants, carpet stains - 1 bottle typically lasts me a year and costs about $22. One capfull per spray bottle and then you just spray away and wipe with a cloth. Easiest thing ever. Makes cleaning quick quick quick. Smells like cinnamon and Christmas.

8. Essential Beauty Serum

I use this on my face morning and night and my skin has never felt better. I do not use face lotion - I use jojoba oil with two drops of this stuff. Lasts me about 2 months. Costs $19.

9. Wine in a box.

Nothing more to say other than you're welcome.

10. Unfiltered Organic Apple Cider Vinegar

Add some to your water for digestive stuff, clean with it, I use it in my hair about once a week - gets rid of build up and my hair is so soft and shiny after. Itchy scalp? Mix a little with water and pour it on your head. Itch is gone and your smile will return. Stinks to high heaven but at least my hair and scalp feels great.

And there you have it folks! May you all rest a little easier tonight because of this info!

-Em

Sleeping through the night? When does that start?

Last night cracked me up. 

Because if I didn't laugh, I would have thrown in the towel. Or ran off into the humid night air to sleep in one of those tunnel slides at the park to find rest.

We have a rule in the Dual home - everyone starts in their own bed. You are free to come to our bed at some point during the night if needed to finish the rest of your blissful sleep but this bed is mommy and daddy's. 

And by 'start in your own bed' we really mean everyone can start in our bed until they fall asleep. And then I will carry the lighter one to bed and Tony will move the taller one. Perfect arrangement right? Feel free to take notes on our perfect parenting. 

At some point between 11pm amd 1230am Jack wakes up. Sometimes I pretend I don't hear him on the monitor in case Tony swiftly comes to the rescue to get him. Or I'll poke Tony in the ribs pleading, "Please will you get him?" Based on his response, it will determine who gets to make the trek, half asleep, to get our wonderful child Jack. Then I get to start the night long nursing session with Jack who will climb over me every 20 minutes or so for the "udder side." Breastfeeding can be so glamorous right?

When I wake up at some point because I'm huddled on the edge of the bed with one corner of a sheet covering my shoulder, I'll notice Ava has also made her way to our bed. 

So this leads me to my crack up night. Jack fell asleep so I put him in his bed. I dragged Ava to her bed where she fell asleep. I began congratulating myself way too soon so by the time I turned on Netflix, I began to hear Jack on the monitor. I stayed really still, sort of like someone just heard me robbing their house so I was holding my breath (I've never robbed anyone btw but that's what I imagine it would be like) but at the same time praying "Nooooo Lord! We had a deal!" No idea what that deal was by the way. Salvation for a night with no kids in the bed? No clue. 

But I still had some hope - I didn't think it would take Jack long to get back to sleep. And I was right - an hour later, I'm carefully carrying him back to his crib, still arranging a deal with the Lord if Jack stays asleep, all while using my best ninja moves to lower him into the crib, remove my arms from around his body, and silently run the heck out of there as if I was light as a feather, stiff as a board. *Some of you may remember that game. 

Totally worked and I was just turning Netflix back on when the eldest child comes in and curls up. Noooooo! Then 15 minutes later, here comes my best friend Jack and that's when the cracking up started. Because I could have easily cracked open some bourbon or the front door to escape and cry. But no - I just decided if I didn't want to go crazy, hysterically laughing it was!  Maybe it's the lack of sleep for years. Maybe it's the wacky thyroid hormones. Hard to tell really. 

And each night I'm thinking why in the heck did I not oil anyone up?! So now tonight, I'm not going to forget! Every child will get some rutavala, cedarwood, and lavender. Unless I forget or fall asleep. And then I'll just have to remember to do it tomorrow. 

Sometimes I torture myself by thinking about when I was kidless and I could sleep whenever. Oh you're feeling tired? Just fall where ever you land and sleep for hours on end. There's no one who's survival depends on you therefore, rest thine eyes for a few and drift away into a blissful, uninterrupted sleep. Or maybe the birds chirping may interrupt you or the sun streaming through your curtains may cause you a bit of a stir. Poor thing. Poor freaking thing. Ugh, now I sounded like a jerk. Let me take a big yoga breath right now. 

So just laugh mommies. It seems to be working for me. Clearly. 

Brazilian Boom

My life was changed this morning.

I had my first encounter with a Brazilian wax and let me tell you - right after your experience,  you have to call someone and talk about it. Sort of like if you're in a car accident or you just felt an earthquake - you immediately have to report how it felt for you, if you're alright, and if you're going to live.

The first person I called was my sister. She didn't answer so I quick hung up without leaving a message and called my friend Ashley. She luckily answered right away and just heard me out, totally understood, and during part of our conversation, I just ended up laughing and couldn't speak. I tried calling my sister again but she still didn't answer so this time I left a message and told her "Yo - I was just waxed. Call me."

Because you have to talk about it. Right?

It was the most interesting thing. You just lie down on the table, butterfly your knees out to the side, and have bits of conversation where half of the time, you have no idea if your response even pertains to the question. Some of my responses were a quick nod, a chuckle, blurting out I had two children. I have no recollection if she even asked me if I had children. It just seemed like the right thing to say.

My hands were very sweaty. She was very kind and upbeat. She started by cleaning everything. And I'm talking everything. I personally have never been as thorough as she was which makes me wonder if I've been doing things wrong for 33 years. I don't know if she used a wet nap or Clorox wipe. It's really neither here nor there. But it did set the tone that no area was off limits.

And then came the wax. I was very aware that she was getting closer and closer to, well nevermind, and each time she slapped wax on me, I thought, "Now she's gonna have to rip that off."

At one point, you bring your knees up to your chest to get into your best cannon ball position. It was at this same point that I had given up on life and all of my dignity was gone. She still seemed very cheerful though so clearly, I was going to give her a good tip. Because you've gotta stay classy, amirite?

Then you get dressed and leave. And then you start calling people. And then when your friend calls you to go to lunch, you tell her to pick where we're going because you are not making any more decisions for the day.

I have another appointment in 3 weeks.

Like A Girl

What does it mean to run like a girl?

What just popped through your freaking head? If it wasn't a girl running as fast as she can, let's change that, shall we.

This commercial resonated with me from the first time I saw it:

https://youtu.be/yIxA3o84syY

It is something I have been mindful of as Tony and I raise our daughter. 

And I think we made progress today :)

Today Ava and I were playing soccer out back. She kicked it once not very hard and I heard her say, "Ugh, I didn't kick it like a girl."

My head whipped around - "What did you say?"

Ava: "I said I didn't kick it like a girl." 

Meaning, girls kick it freaking hard and I'm going to try again.

Yep Ava. #LikeAGirl

And Jack will know the true meaning of that phrase as well. 

Let's all teach our daughters that phrase shall we? 

Carry on.

-Emily

To the salesman at LA Fitness ...

To the guy at LA Fitness who isn't getting a sale from me: I get it. You're in sales right? Well guess what? Me too kind of. And let me tell you the first thing about sales. People want to feel heard.

So when I walk into your establishment with a kid on my hip and a 7 year old and ask loudly "I just quickly want to know how much this will cost to sign up and per month" I don't need you to shuffle me over to your desk. When you see me still standing and  refusing to move, you just need to tell me the cost. Because clearly, I don't have time to go to your desk. And then when you don't let up so I give in and walk to your desk (so congrats on that move), I will let my one year old tear up the papers on your desk. And guess what? I don't even care. Because at that point, I'm thinking, "this guy doesn't care. And he didn't freaking hear me. So go ahead Jack - have at this awesome guy's paperwork." And when he looks at me like, 'why are you letting your kid destroy my desk?' I'll tell him - "see you didn't hear me Mr. Man. I told you from the moment I walked in that I just really quick wanted to know the cost so I could get a membership for my hubs for his birthday. Did you not see the active child on my hip? Did you not hear what I said? Can you not read body language? Because guess what? If you would have shouted at me "It's 199 for 40 bucks a month or 99 for 45 bucks a month!" You would have grabbed my attention. You would have basically sold me. And then you could have shuffled me over to your desk like the tired mom I am and said, "guess what? We even have child care. And today we have a special for 50 dollars off. You want me to do that for you real quick?" I would have kissed you. And gave you my money. Because you didn't waste my time and you connected with me. But the minute you didn't hear me and all I heard was "I want this sale", you lost me buddy. You need to be a lemondropper is what you need. Holy crap.

End rant.

Her Tribe

I've been dying to tell you this story. Seriously dying. Because it's been a life changer. And who doesn't love life changing stories? Whack jobs I tell you. Whack jobs don't like life changing stories. And bitter people. But there's oils for them so it's okay.

Once upon a time there was a mom. And her daughter was sick. So she found something different and everything changed.

And then she had to tell everyone. Because when things change your life, you tell people.

And then other people started to love them. And everyone celebrated together. Because more lives were changing.

And in the midst of everything, a mom found her tribe. Because she had been lost for a while. Didn't have many friends really. Was tired a lot and never did her hair. Was in a rut. Remembered a time she felt beautiful. But it seemed so long ago.

And now she was talking to people. And texting throughout the day. And helping, and learning, and listening. And doing her hair. And meeting people for coffee. Her tribe.

She was booking plane tickets to Idaho (you da pimp - couldn't resist - sorry) on a whim. And texting her mom and sister at night saying, "You want to go to Idaho?" And they're like, "Yes, we'll go with you." So now she's basically a world traveler.

But most importantly, she is seeing why the good Lord brought her to this journey. And seeing it all come together. And it all started with her daughter.

Miss Ava.

Ava, who's name came to me in a dream and when I woke up in the morning (before I even knew I was having a girl), I told Tony - "we have to name her Ava." Because in my dream, I was a nurse helping deliver a baby. And when the baby was born, I asked her name and the mother told me Ava. And I picked up the phone and called Tony to tell him that the lady named her daughter what we named our daughter. And when the day came when I was going to have our baby, I was heading in for my c-section after being in labor forever, and the nurse says "what are you naming her?" And as I told her, the nurse says, "Why, that's my name."

Our daughter's name is supposed to be Ava.

So now there's this group of people. Who support one another. And help each other. And pray for each other. And it's life changing too. And why aren't you a part of it yet?

The end.

-Emily

We're saving

In one year, Tony and I will have been married 10 years. CRAZY to think that ten years have passed. Seriously crazy.

When we were planning our wedding, it wasn't hard. Our main goal was that everyone had a BLAST. We wanted people to dance. And crack up laughing. And just freaking have a great time. And when your focus is clear, everything heads in the right direction.

I remember vividly going to pick out our cake. And we were only going to pick out a cake because it was included in the price of the venue.

We showed up on a Saturday morning at 9am. The lady who was going to help us wasn't there yet. She was about 5 minutes late. We looked through a book, pointed to something that looked good, Tony took a few sample bites of cake, picked something out - done. It took us about 4 minutes to pick out a cake that we wanted.

We stood up to leave and the lady said "Wait - I have more books for you to look through." And I thought to myself, "Why? It's a cake."

Because all it was was a freaking cake. This was a wedding we were planning. Not a marriage. Marriage has nothing to do with freaking cake. We were only picking out a cake because it came with the price. If we had it our way, we would have picked flan. Or arroz con leche. But we didn't have much money and our parents were helping us with the wedding. So cake it was. And it didn't freaking matter.

So we are now saving. Because next year is our tenth wedding anniversary. And we don't want cake.

We want freaking flan.

And we want to have a dinner with people at our favorite restaurant - Phlight.

It's kind of scary to put it down on paper. Your goals. But we're doing it.

We want an awesome dinner with awesome food. We want a babysitter at our house to watch children. We want to go to karaoke after to sing and crack up.

See, it's not about cake.

It's about serving others. We wanted other people to have a freaking blast at our wedding. We wanted to watch people have a grand ol' time. We had so many people come up to us to say "this is the best wedding ever!" Because that's what it was - a wedding. Not a freaking marriage.

Marriage is all about doing stuff for the other person. That's it. It's not "what can I get from this? what can I gain? How 'come he's not doing x, y, z?" Just stop. Just freaking stop.

Sometimes I have to tell myself to stop.

It's "What can I do for Tony?" What can I do to make sure he wants to come home to me EVERY SINGLE DAY?

Because I can be annoying. I can be cray cray.

I am a sinner.

But I love him, I do. I want him to be with me FOREVER.

And I will save and save and save to have a dinner where we give back to the people who are our family and friends and rocks.

We want to give a dinner to those who are part of our clan.

We are the Duals. The fab freaking Duals. And we want to share our tenth anniversary the way we feel is best.

Because at the end of the day, it's not what I get that matters, right?

It's the freaking flan :)

See ya'll next year folks.

-Emily

I see why people would run off

I totally get why some people may just drive off to get away. To get some sleep. To find some quiet.

If I ever did this, I would return. Probably after 3 days. Any longer, and the mommy guilt sets in. Plus I would really miss my husband and children. I do love them so dang much.

But I'm so tired. It's not just being a mommy. It's having hyperthyroidism too. I feel yucky quite often. My heart is always racing and I get agitated pretty quickly. I could see how driving off and sleeping for awhile sounds absolutely fabulous.

I've thought about where I would go. Idaho, Oregon, or somewhere in California. Because I know people there and I could visit them.

I have everything planned.

Day 1:
I would hide out at a salon/spa place all day and get multiple treatments: hair, massage, exfoliate, waxing, mud something. Just fabulous.
I'd go for an awesome vegan dinner with some really great adult beverages.
See a movie.
Go to sleep.

And the sleep would be glorious. There would be no child sucking me dry. Other children wouldn't be in the bed. There would be no crumbs in the bed from a child the day before. I wouldn't be teetering on the edge because of other bodies taking up space. I would just sleep until I woke up.

Day 2:
Breakfast and coffee at a hole in the wall place. I'd make friends with some people who worked there. We'd become facebook friends. I'd share my oils and they'd put joy all over themselves. We'd hug.

I'd walk around town and buy a few things. Call home. Find an awesome ice cream place.
Take a nap.

Go to a library.

Find an awesome place for dinner. Eat all of my own dinner. Children would not be eating my dinner. I would not order dinner thinking "what could I get that the baby could eat?"

I'd get dessert.

Call home.

Another glorious sleep.

Day 3:
Pack up.
Read at the airport if I traveled by plane.
Have one of those cinnabon cinnamon roll things. With extra frosting.
Hug my family.


But it wouldn't really be like this. I'd be pumping because you can't be away from a baby without pumping if you're nursing. I'd wonder what my children were doing, what they had for breakfast, did they watch too much tv, did they say something funny? I'd want to get home early to make sure laundry was done for the week. Do we have lunch stuff and snacks for Ava for school? Does Jack have enough baby food? You really can't rest, you know?

Maybe one day I'll do this. But actually no. I don't think so. I'd want Tony to come with me.

So now I just need the childcare  . . . . :)

What in the hey hey?

If I could rewind time back to when my Ava took meds for her asthma. If someone could tell me about oils before she got sick with pneumonia. But you know, I probably still would have rolled my eyes and said, "thanks but no thanks crazy lady."

Because when we're desperate, we'll do anything, amirite? We will buy crazy oils. We will rub them on our vita flex points (what in the world?!). We will wonder if the oils we bought are first distillation only, cold pressed, etc and then breathe a sigh of relief when you learn they are and are tested by 3rd party people.

You will get invited to a camping trip to YL's lavender fields in Utah. Because YL has their own farms don't cha know. Does your oil company have any of their own farms? Ugh, I sounded like an oil snob right there. #sorrynotsorry

And ya'll know I will use these forever. You know that right?

Because how can you not use something that made you throw away inhalers? How do you not use something that changed your life? How do you not tell the world?

Everyday I thank Him. Because He knows I prayed. And in the hospital, I prayed. And this oil journey has turned out to be freaking fabulous.

Just wanted to remind ya'll. ;)

Once upon a time

Once upon a time there was a girl. And she had some awesome friends and she laughed all the time and stayed up late. She was studious. And shy. And wanted to be cool.

And then once upon a time there was a girl. She used to lay in bed on the weekends and watch Law and Order: Criminal Intent. And had a crush on Vincent D'onofrio. And she used to do her hair and makeup. And sleep in. 

And then there was a girl who was married. And made dinner. And tortillas on the weekend. And loved her new life. And still slept in. 

And now there's a girl who's a mommy. And she's tired a lot. And goes to bed early. She never sleeps in and she doesn't care about being cool. She doesn't make tortillas anymore. She has a crush on her husband. She doesn't really do her hair. But she knows that doesn't matter. And she feels so loved. And knows that's all that matters now.

And she's the happiest person ever. 

The end. 

Hooter Hider

I basically wear my hooter hider all the time.  It's sort of part of my everyday outfit.  It's always draped around my neck.

My sister washed it for me the other day :) It had been awhile.

It is the same one I wore with Ava.

One day I won't be nursing babies. And that will be bittersweet. 

Nursing's tough at first.  You've just birthed a human and are exhausted.  You're the only one who can feed the baby.  All night long, a child is feeding from you. 

I remember when we first brought Ava home from the hospital. One morning Tony said, "wow, she slept so good last night. " Um yeah, that's because she was on my milk bags all night.  I'm glad you slept so soundly. Because I slept on my side with a child yanking on my boob for hours. And now that Jackson's bigger,  he can do crazy acrobatics while still staying attached to my feed bags. 

I haven't slept good in 7 years.

There's always something to listen for - a child's coughing,  baby's awake,  child makes their way into your bed, somebody peed. Did you lock the doors? Did you set the alarm?

Why do I even set the alarm anyway?  No one in this house has overslept since our first child was born. The power could go off and our cell phones could simultaneously die and we would still wake up at 6am.

And if a child does sleep longer than usual,  you worry even more - Why are they sleeping so long?  Do they have a temperature?  Are they feeling okay? So see,  there's no rest even when children do sleep.

I'm not complaining.  It's just the way it is right now.  I use a lot of oils and pray quite a bit.

And one day, I'll wish I was still a mommy to two little kiddos.

Where does the time go?