I'm probably getting robbed right now

Is anyone else buying their child a Stretchkin this year like this crazy mother is? I didn't think so. This is literally the first year Ava has ever really wanted one specific thing for Christmas so being what I thought was the sensible mother that I was, I thought, what the heck? Let me get her one.

Oh Lord - what have I done.

The website alone is full of so many colors and an energetic video that I was already thinking "what am I doing?" Then to order one, you just blindly fill in all of your personal info and hit NEXT. I might as well of scanned my thumbprint and given them my pin number. So the next page you enter your payment info and it sort of seemed secure but who knows? My bank account may already be drained. Of course there is a cost for shipping - fine. BUT rather than take you to another screen to review your order, it simply says "THANK YOU FOR YOUR PURCHASE - YOU SHOULD GET YOUR ITEM IN 2-4 WEEKS." What the heck?! 2-4 weeks?! Why wasn't that helpful info offered on the first tab?! So after a few more tabs, it then asks me if I would like to adjust my shipping to rush the delivery so I feel a little redeemed thinking it will be here in time for Christmas. I figure well why not? - I've already come this far on this unsecure website - let me see what the cost for a rush delivery will be. Well well well - once you hit NEXT it says "THANKS! YOUR ORDER HAS BEEN CHANGED AND PROCESSED!" Well, where the heck was the warning price on what the rush delivery will be?! So now I am an official idiot who paid way too much for a crazy toy that will probably cause strife and frustration in the home on Christmas Day. Just great.

So I have already taken a vow! Never again will I hunt down some ridiculous toy! And my other vow is that we will all use this toy even if we hate it! We will all pretend we love it. It will be packed on trips we take. I'm sure it will make it's way to Disneyland at some point and we will pose it in a picture with a turkey leg. We will all love it to pieces.

Ugh, so don't go buying one - just wait until next year and if your child would like a unicorn stretchkin you can buy it from me!

And yes, I am now returning back from this fog of a purchase to remind myself why we have Christmas in the first place. And it's not to hunt down toys on the internet. I have officially learned my lesson!

-Emily

I Feel Like a Stuffed Turkey

So besides being up at 5am this morning because I no longer am able to sleep, I also feel like a big overstuffed turkey just waddling around. This pregnancy has made me feel bigger than my first and what's scary is that I still have about 15 weeks to go - so I'm only going to keep getting bigger. That's sort of scary!!

But it is Thanksgiving! So I am thankful that I am housing a growing baby for a few more months even though I will be a sight to see with a huge gut leading the way. And I am thankful that my house is warm right now (although some might say it's still cold as we don't set our thermostat for 70 - it is set for a  few degrees below this). And I have a family who loves each other. And that Tony is such a good dad to Ava and his son already.

Fun story - on Sunday we had a sort of mini thanksgiving lunch after church at home. And Tony was showing Ava the wishbone and explained to her the whole wish thing and whoever gets the bigger piece when it breaks, yada yada yada. So it breaks. And Ava gets the small piece. And just when it looks like she might cry, Tony says "Do you want to know what I wished for?" So she says yes and he says, "I wished that your wish would come true." And boy, did she just light up and smile. What a wonderful daddy who just saved the day and made her day! So Ava was BEAMING and smiles at us and says "Oh good because I wished to be a fairy!" Oh jeez - didn't see that coming. So even though Ava won't turn into a fairy ever, Tony gave her a great moment.

But the 1 thing I am most thankful for (if I had to pick just one) is that "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." - John 3:16-17. Isn't that remarkable? That God SO LOVED the world - SO LOVED. Not just cared for or like the world, but SO LOVED. And when I think of all the rotten things I have done in my life, I am THANKFUL. And grateful. And humbled. And ashamed even. Because I have done and continue to do rotten things. But He did it anyway, even knowing all this. So I am thankful.

Now that I have a child, I could never in my whole life imagine sending my one child as a ransom for the sins of the world. My sinful self sees other sinful people and I think, "No way would I give my one child away to die for so and so." Especially then if no one cares about the sacrifice later and forgets all about. Or says it really didn't happen - NO WAY would I give my child up to do this when so many people would reject it or ignore it. But God is not me. And God SO LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten Son . . . wow. That is the best thing ever. And that has to be the number one thing I am thankful for - how could it not?

Everyone please have a wonderful thanksgiving! And give thanks for the Lord is good. And I am so excited that my family is here and we are already enjoying the next few days together. And I will get to see a friend tomorrow who I haven't seen in years! Literally - years! Wow - what a wonderful Thanksgiving :)

"Oh come, let us sing to the Lord! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms." Psalm 95:1-2

-Emily

Drugs or no drugs?

The cold weather is upon us and I am bracing for Ava to, once again, have her asthma start flaring up. Every year around this time she starts coughing - she will sometimes throw up from coughing so hard, sounds like it is difficult for her to breathe and of course all of this happens at night so I don't tend to get much sleep because I'm just waitng to hear her cough and need help.

Every year around this time I start her on her Singulair, QVAR, and albueterol to try and prevent it from getting worse. Every year, even though she uses these meds, it gets worse - she has coughing attacks, we end up going to the doctor, and she usually starts to run a temp because she gets an infection, or she gets strep throat. And every year I tell her doctor, "I don't really see that the medications help her that much when she's coughing." To which he smiles at me and says, "well she would be much worse if you didn't give them to her."

Last year, she was having such a bad time coughing and breathing, I put her in the car to drive to the emergency room. When we went back to the doctor, I again told him the meds weren't working well and he told me to keep using them. I also notice the meds make her more moody and irriated - she's typically a very happy girl.

So now we are in THIS YEAR. And it is my first time using my oils on her for her asthma. Two nights ago, she started coughing - the kind of coughing where I would normally grab her inhalers, give her some honey, and if it still didn't work, I've put her in a steamy shower to help open her up and pray like you wouldn't believe. Well, I just bought a bottle of oil called RC which is a blend of a few oils including eucalyptus, pine, marjoram, lavendar, and peppermint. I dilute two drops in my hand with about 4 drops of grapeseed oil and rub it on her chest and back. Two nights ago, when she started coughing, I put some in my diffuser in her room and I kid you not - within 7 minutes she was done coughing. All night I kept waiting for it to start up again (because it ALWAYS starts up again). And it didn't. She slept like a log until 7am. I put some more on her chest in the morrning along with some thieves oil on her feet and sent her off to school. So I was quite impressed and I'm hoping it continues to work as well for the rest of this fun asthma season.

The bottle of RC was $22. A jar of grapeseed oil is maybe $5. Ava's Singulair costs me $147 for 30 5mg tablets. Her QVAR is around $45 and her albuterol I think is $15. So $22 plus a jar of grapeseed oil? I will keep using it. Because so far, it has worked far better than those meds. And I'm actually crying as I'm writing this because so many times in the past few years, we have struggled to buy these meds. And when a doctor tells you to get them because they will help, I bought them. And sometimes I could only buy one or two of them because I couldn't afford all of them and I would cry because I felt like a terrible mom who couldn't provide something her child needed. I always asked for samples at the doctor and sometimes they would have some to give me. I spoke with the doctor about the cost of the pills and they gave me numbers to places that maybe could help me. But they couldn't because it was based on income. So Tony and I would feel stuck because we didn't qualify for anything low-income but it's not that we made so much money that I could just go buy any prescription Ava needed. I was finally successful with one of the meds when I sent a form to Merck and they sent me a years worth of Singulair for free last year so that helped quite a bit with the cost.

So again, I praise the Lord for helping us and I'm hopeful these oils will continue to work well. Because the meds sure didn't impress me with their effectiveness for Ava in the 3 years we've used them. And the preventative meds she had, I made sure we followed how they were supposed to be used but she would still have horrible coughing attacks, strained breathing, etc. Maybe some people have had great results with the meds - I'm glad for you. And I will continue to monitor Ava to see how these oils work this season. But so far, so good. And at the end of this cold season, I will report my findings!

-Emily

The Boy

So as many of you know, we are having a boy (Tony actually did a sort of reflex fist pump during the ultrasound - I say it was a reflex because he has said, "It just happend - I didn't even mean to do it"). He was also very excited when we found out we were having a girl with our first pregnancy so don't go thinking we prefer one gender over the other - does not matter to us in the slightest. The Lord will give us what we need to be given.

I felt we really tried to prepare Ava that the baby "will either be a boy or a girl - we don't get to pick." Anytime she would say "maybe it will be a girl," I always replied with "we don't know, we can't pick, it may be a boy, God will give us what we are supposed to have," etc. So when the day came where Ava heard It's a Boy! from the lovely ultrasound technician, she responded with "he can sleep in the office." So, I'm thinking she was really hoping for a sister. Her face just said it all - she was not planning for a brother.

I think I sort of get her hesitancy. I didn't grow up with brothers and I don't know much about males other than what I've observed from people around me and from what I know from Tony. I know about girls - I am a girl so that's my specialty. But, never fear! We have an expert in our home to help! Tony is a male! So this is actually perfect and takes so much pressure off me to know how to teach someone "guy" things. Now, in all seriousness, I love that God made man and woman. What a perfect design. When I think of Tony, I love that he is strong, protective, masculine, chivalrous, etc. It just warms my heart and brings me comfort knowing he protects our family and just loves us. He brings so much to our home that I can't bring simply because I'm a girl and we're different. I am really looking forward to having a son and to raise him with Tony to be a good man who loves the Lord. Wow - what a big responsibility having children is?! All of the things you have to think of - so much responsibility! But the Lord is guiding us and as long as we stay focused on Him, we will be on the right path.

Now, Ava is getting more excited every day and warming up to the idea of a brother. She took all of the ultrasound pictures and taped them on the wall in our dining room. She has now felt her brother kicking which she laughed and smiled and thought was just great. She has even seen some toys that she thinks he would like and has said, "maybe we can get that for the boy." THE BOY - so that is apparently what she is calling him now. She does give my belly a hug everyday and say, "I'm giving the baby a hug" so she is coming around. We have talked about what we will need to teach him and she lit right up and had a ton of ideas.

I can't wait for Ava to meet her brother. Other than Tony and the staff who will be there deliving the baby, Ava will be the first one to see him in our family. It only seems right for us to do it this way. Our little family. I love having a family.

Ava will love him - and he will love her. And Tony and I love them so much it just fills my heart and sometimes I get tears in my eyes. What wonderful gifts we have been given to cherish and love and teach (among many other things). I pray for them everyday.

"Only love can be divided endlessly, and still not diminish." - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

-Emily

Witch Doctor

Okay, so I'm feeling like sort of a witch doctor but I use that term very loosely because I really don't know what a witch doctor is and it doesn't sound like it would coincide well with my Christian beliefs. So maybe that's the wrong word. And I'm too lazy to look it up. But let's not get crazy about it - just know that I'm now into using essential oils.

I learned about them from a long-time friend (thanks Ash!) and after my daughter got sick with bacterial pneumonia this year, I figured, let me try it. I had heard about an oil called thieves that helps with sickness or you could use it to clean with, as well as a bunch of other oils so I thought, why not? Well, let me just say - I am loving all of the oils I have so far and I am putting them on people around me and diffusing it in our home. I feel sort of like a crazy lady and people may think I have jumped off the deep end but have no fear - I think I am still mostly sane.

So I gave my mom a bottle of an oil called Valor, which is a blend of some oils (I don't remember which) and told her to rub a drop under each big toe and behind each ear so that she wouldn't snore at night. She laughed at me, I laughed too, and that's when that witch doctor song popped into my head. But I said "just try it - the whole neighborhood hears you snoring at night (we do - I live around the corner from her)so what's it gonna hurt?" Well, she didn't snore for a week which had everyone impressed and my stepdad gave me a hug and nearly cried. BUT THEN she gave the bottle back to me and told me it was because she wanted to see if it was really the oil that was helping (but she could have been thinking she had gone off the deep end too using the oils so she returned it). Needless to say, the snoring started back up the first night she didn't use it and my stepdad came back to my house in search of the bottle. He also asked me how it works to which I replied, "I have no idea." But it works (and I've heard there actually is a description of how it works out there, but again, I'm too lazy to go check it out).

That is just one example so far of how I've used the oils. I've also been cleaning with them, diffusing them, putting some into a spray bottle and spraying it everywhere, etc. Last night, I felt a sore throat coming on so I diffused some thieves in my room at night while I was asleep - I feel perfectly fine this morning. My daughter was coughing the other night so I diffused some stuff in her room - she slept like a baby and I didn't have to use her inhalers. I had a cut on my finger - I put a drop of lavender on it - within 2 hours it was practically gone. Tony had a toothache this morning so I told him to rub some thieves on it - pain is gone (and I am NOT paying for ANOTHER root canal by the way! He can go find a random person for all I care to pull the tooth out for a small fee - I am not doing it!). Remember the saying - "You don't need to floss all your teeth - just the ones you want to keep!" Tony needs to get on it (whew, that was my pregnant lady rant right there where all of your feelings just come pouring out at once with no filter).

Anyway, that is why I feel like a witch doctor. People tell me something and I say, "I have an oil for that!" So if you come to our home for a visit, you may find yourself being a hit with random oils - AND I even think you will love it :)

-Emily

Thank you for your prayers

Well, what a scary night Tuesday was. I didn't even know a temperature of 106 was possible - the thermometer just kept on going and going and all I could think of was "please stop going up, please stop going up."

It all started Monday morning. I went to Ava's room to wake her up for school and noticed she felt warm. She had a temp of 101.5 so she stayed home from school and I figured she just had a bug. The day went on and around 2pm her temp was at 102.3 so I gave her some tylenol. It went down a bit but not for too long. Gave her tylenol again before she went to bed. She also started with a bad cough on Monday night. Usually when she starts coughing, it doesn't start off bad but will gradually get worse. Well this time she coughed and it sounded bad right from the start.

At 3:30am Tuesday morning her temp was 103.7 so we took her to the doctor in the morning. My first thought was that she had strep throat again because she said her throat hurt so I figured she would need an antibiotic because she had an infection. Ava NEVER gets a temp over 103 so I thought for sure, we would get antibiotics. Well, the nurse practitioner tested her for strep and for the flu Tuesday morning - both came back negative. She assured us it was just a virus and would go away soon. We took her home, Tony stayed home with her, and I went into work for a bit.

Tony texted me later to say the temp was at 103.4 even though he gave her some motrin just a couple of hours before. Told him to put her in a lukewarm bath and make sure she wore light clothing. I called the doctor again to share my concerns that her temp was still high even after meds. So she called in a prescription for Ava for tamiflu, even thought the flu test came back negative - she thought it would help with her symptoms. Well, tamiflu was $212 so I said, "no thanks - we will just try and keep her comfortable."

6:15pm - Ava went to sleep and her temp was around 102. Tony and I sat down to eat dinner. Around 7:30pm Tony noticed she was moving around a bit in bed so he went to check on her. Said, "Hey Em, she feels really warm." I took her temp and the numbers just kept climbing and climbing. Finally it stopped at 105.2. We immediately put shoes on, grabbed some flip flops for Ava, locked up the house, and got in the car.

The hospital took her temp twice and I sat there watching the numbers climb. First time it was 106, second time it was 106.2. I almost started crying. The guy taking the temp looked at the nurse and told her, "I took it twice." They went and got ice packs to put under her arms. Ava's little heart rate was high. She started to cry but I wanted her to calm down thinking, what if she has a seizure? Got us in a room and as we walked into the room, the doctor walked right in with us and started askinng us questions. "When did it start, does she have a cough, did you go anywhere this weekend, did she get bit, is there cancer is your family . . . " Then you could hear them consulting with one another by their computers - "They said they went to oceanside to a pumpkin patch, she didn't go swimming, cough started yesterday, . . . " I was grateful they were moving quickly with trying to help her. So they did lab work, urine test, chest x-ray and took the labs in a big orange bag that said STAT. Gave her some fluids and they took her temp again and it had gone way down. I was so grateful for everyone's prayers that night.

When all of the tests came back, it was determined she had Pneumonia and they gave her some antibiotics through her IV. I was so relieved we had an answer.

Ava was such a trooper. Anytime one of the doctors or nurses asked how she was, she would say, "I'm good." She was very relieved they could just leave the needle in her arm so that they wouldn't have to poke her again each time they gave her something. The doctors and nurses were wonderful. Our nurse brought Tony and I some coffee and crackers - I jokingly asked how much it would cost (but I was only sort of half joking because I knew we would be getting a huge hospital bill in the mail). Luckily, the coffee and crackers were free.

I felt such peace knowing that the Lord arranged this night the way He did. All day I had been praying, "Lord let me know if I need to take her to the emergency room" because Ava has a very high deductible - and we don't just go to the emergency room for a sore thraot or a little slice on your finger. And He did - it was very clear we needed to take her. Also if Ava hadn't gone to sleep so early, we wouldn't have noticed her moving around it bed and checked on her. If we all went to bed at the same time, I wouldn't have checked on her for awhile and it just makes me overwhelmed to think "what if we all went to sleep and I didn't check on her for hours?" Who knows what would have happened with her temp so high for so long.

So once again, I praise God and I thank everyone for their prayers. And I am at peace with the huge bill we will get in the mail because we had to take her. And the Lord will provide for us the way He always does. I have complete peace.

"I love the Lord because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live." Psalm 116:1-2

-Emily

Spanking

The other day as I was walking back to my car after dropping off Ava at school, there was a mom with her children walking toward me. The mother looked mad and the little family kept walking while the mom kept talking when she finally just reached over and hit her son on the arm (maybe to be extra sure he got what she was trying to tell him?) Either way, I walked away very interested in the whole idea of spanking/hitting your children as "discipline."

Now, I'm sure she was upset about something - you could see it in her whole demeanor. And she didn't hit him hard or else I would like to think I would have said something. But it is fascinating to me that some people spank their children as a form of discipline. If you think about it, those that spank/hit their children cannot do it to anyone else. If someone I supervise at work does something wrong EVEN THOUGH I'VE TOLD THEM A MILLION TIMES THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S DONE AND NOW I AM FRUSTRATED I can't just reach over and whack them on their arm. If I do something at home and Tony hates my guts, he can't come over to me and hit me - he'll get arrested. But kids? Sure - go right on ahead and spank them.

Countless studies have shown that spanking your children is not effective and people tend to do it more out of frustration rather than "Okay Johnny, I'm going to spank you now with an open hand on your bottom because I didn't like how you just spoke to me and I'm doing this to correct your behavior." If you are trying to correct a child's behavior with hitting - what message does that send? "You did something wrong - now I can hit you." Totally illogical. Not to mention, when they get older, what are you going to do then?

Now, I have heard many tales of people spanking their children maybe once in their lives because of something just crazy that happened and the parent was freaked out - e.g. child walks out into the street and a car is coming so you hit them on their bottom as you yell. I can logically get that and maybe that will be me one day. I can also see myself pushing Tony or smacking him if he jumped out from behind a door and scared me half to death - I get it. But I don't get it when people spank as one of their primary ways of discipline.

Interesting fact: the United States passed an Animal Welfare Act in 1966 to help protect animals. Did you know that the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act wasn't passed until 1974? Now I'm not saying spanking is child abuse so don't go crazy. I just thought it was interesting that we had a law passed for animals before we did to legally protect children from abuse.

Now, I work somewhere where everyday I hear stories about families and their children who are taken away because of abuse. I have heard horrendous stories about sexual abuse that would make you want to vomit. I hear about the children who are malnourished and live outside under a tarp. Very sad world we live in. So if you do have your children, let's love them, show them patience, notice when they are getting tired so that we don't frustrate them, etc - because life goes by so fast, doesn't it? And I for one need to stop being so judgmental and start being more kind. And helpful. Rather than just talking all the time without doing. Because that's just as bad as spanking - maybe worse. Maybe that mom that I saw at Ava's school that hit her child on the arm has no one to talk to and her life feels out of control. Who knows. We can all be more kind. You never know what someone may be going through.

So just some thoughts I had to share . . . sort of a bummer topic I know. But children (especially babies) are on my mind (and bladder) all the time now so these things just pop up. Plus as you know we don't have cable at the Dual house so evenings can be very quiet. But in all seriousness, we can all love better. And then our children will see us loving others better, and then they will show love to others more, and then . . .

-Emily

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord . . . " Psalm 127:3

Football is here

So yes, football season has arrived and while it is an exciting time for the Hubinero, it is also an annoying time for him as we do not have cable television. How will he make it through the season? Just barely, I'm sure.

Now, don't go thinking I'm some cruel wife who got rid of cable two years ago just for the heck of it. It is around this time of year when I do wish we had it because I, for one, do not like to watch people suffer. But it was actually a mutual choice and we really couldn't justify paying over a hundred dollars a month anymore for shows we never watched anyway. Also, we had a tremendously horrible experience with the customer service at Verizon Fios and I vowed to never do business with them ever again. A lady even stopped by our house a while back asking me if I was interested in Verizon Fios and I immediately felt my heart start racing as I had flashbacks to the terrible experience I had with people at Fios. She asked me how they could ever provide their service to us again and I told her only if the bill every month was going to be zero dollars. She laughed at me and said, "oh come on." It was then that I may have hypothetically crossed the line by saying my experience was so bad, I felt like finding my way to their corporate office and showing them how awful I thought their customer service was. She quickly walked away. I'm sure she knew I was only joking as I would never do such a thing but the words just sort of flew out of my mouth very quickly. Plus, I also felt very ashamed as soon as I said it since our "As For Me And My House, We Will Serve The Lord" flag was flying right by the front door. I was definitely not a good witness that day at all. So, to sum it up, we are an Internet only family who still needs to work on being Christ-like.

So, if you want to hang out here in our home hoping to catch a game, you have come to the wrong place. And if you do mistakenly show up because you are unaware that we will not have a football game on, I completely understand if you have to leave. Tony may follow you though so be ready for a buddy. But who knows - we may one day get cable again if the Fios people decide to install it and give us free service or if we start making a ton of money somehow and decide, what the heck?! But until then, my manly man has to find alternative ways to zone out to football. Can you tell I'm not a sportsfan? (only some of you will get that last sentence)

-Emily

What a difference a pregnancy makes

Well, to say this pregnancy is just like my first one is an untrue statement. This pregnancy is completely different.

I'm definitely not as tired like I was with Ava. I'm not as close to throwing up like I was with Ava. But the morning sickness does start around 4pm like clockwork everyday so I don't tend to have much for dinner. But I've really just been praying and leaving it in God's hands that He is taking care of everything going on in my uterus because I can't get in there to see how everything's going.

So far, I've been sick twice this pregnancy - once in the beginning with a high temp and strep throat. Then again last week I had another temp. This of course caused me to google high-temps-in-pregnancy and the results freaked me out so I have vowed not to return to google to ask about anything pregnancy related. I was also in a car accident a few weeks ago. My doctor had me come in recently because they thought I may be leaking amniotic fluid but apparently I wasn't, so they sent me on my way. So part of me is wondering how our baby is doing in there while all of these things are happening around me. Another part of me just thinks there's nothing I can do about it so stop wondering. Life is quite interesting at times, that's for sure.

I am really looking forward to cleaning out our garage before the baby comes! Once we find out if we are having a girl or boy, then I will know what to do with the loads of plastic bins that are piled to the ceiling. I am also looking forward to getting the baby's room ready because this means taking out the eliptical machine that takes up the majority of the space.

But I'm also looking forward to this pregnancy going by slowly. I want to just take everything in because children grow up so quickly. Ava's going to be in college soon (at least it feels like it). The other day she asked me what a compound word was and as I went to answer ( after consulting with google first quickly on my phone) she stopped me and told me herself what it was. And she even threw in a little fancy phrase of "they don't resist each other." Who is this child of mine?!

So we will see what else comes my way for the rest of this pregnancy. And I can't wait to hold both of my children at the same time in about six months.

-Emily

We survived!

Somehow we survived Ava's first week of kindergarten. It has not been too easy getting out the door by 7:40 (we used to wake up at this time) but we have all managed to be successful! Only once did she forget her glasses but she told me not to worry - she would be okay. Well thank you Ava for the reminder!

So far Ava seems to be having a great time. She did say she has seen quite a few beatles flying around at recess which put her in a slight panic but she also keeps telling me that they plan to have a dance party at school one day - she just doesn't know which day yet. And maybe I should actually believe her - after all, she was the one telling me she was in a class with first graders and I thought she was completely mistaken (she is in a class with first graders).

Ava basically towers over all of the other children. As she lines up in the morning with her teacher, I have no trouble spotting her above all the other kids. She's also gone to the treasure chest once (she was thrilled) and even got to do some math work on a computer at school - although she did say there were not enough computers for everyone so those kids had to use ipads.

When I was in kindergarten, I think this was my first time ever using scissors and all we did was spread some chunky paste around a piece of paper and glue things on. I remember one time a child threw up and I was grossed out. But that was basically it - you used paste, some ate it, and you went home. It is crazy that times have changed quite a bit. My daughter thinks it's completely normal that ipads are part of your school day. Who would've thought?!

So, so far so good with the school thing. There is some homework every night so that totally stinks - Ava's handling that better than I am. But she's doing great.

And when they finally have their dance party, I will let you all know!

-Emily

I Hope I Don't Get Huge

So yes, I am pregnant! Finally! And I must say, I am looking forward to being pregnant this time because there are so many things I wish I would have done while I was pregnant the first time.

Starting with:

1) When people just reach out and randomly touch my belly, I am sooo looking forward to reaching out and grabbing them in return! Why did I never do this while I was pregnant with Ava?! I just sort of stood there at Costco while the random lady came over to me and started to violate me. I will definately be reaching out to return the favor!

2) A person once trying to be wise told me, "Now I'm not saying starve yourself, but just eat enough for the baby." We all know they really meant to basically starve myself and looking back I laugh at how funny some people are and the crazy things they say. Now don't get me wrong - I don't want to be a huge elephant but I am starting off this pregnancy heavier than what I was with Ava so part of me is freaking out that I will look quite scary walking down the street. But what are you gonna do, what are you gonna do? (you really have to say it twice for the effect). So I'm planning on eating but not stuffing myself.

3) Our house and hospital room may be closed off to others. Yes, I get some people may be offended when they come to see us and we have a sign up or something saying sorry-we-are-resting - we will let you know when we are ready for visitors. But I remember crying when I had Ava and we had had people coming to visit us all darn day and the thing I wanted the most was for people to LEAVE. I wanted time with just Ava and Tony. I remember just wanting the room to ourselves so that I could try and breastfeed without a room full of spectators. I was in pain everywhere - I had an incision across my abdomen, my nipples were bleeding, I hadn't showered yet, I still had a catheter in - EVERYONE GET OUT!!! is what I wanted to say. But I think I just tried to smile and please everyone. But no, not this time - sorry. I want to just enjoy the peace and newness of our new addition and help Ava transition well too without being overloaded and overwhelmed.

So maybe I feel more bold this time around being pregnant since it's familiar to me. I feel in more of a protective mode maybe. What I do know for sure is that Ava, Tony, and I are so excited about adding another child to our family. And I can't wait to see Ava in her role as Big Sister. She is so loving already and has such a kind heart. I can't wait to see how everything unfolds for us as this is something we have been praying about for a long time. I love sitting back, peacefully watching how everything in His time works out so much better than when it's on my time. And this is now the right time :)

-Emily

Pretty Little Liars

Why am I watching this show now called Pretty Little Liars? Why can I not wait until everyone is asleep in my house and then I put my earplugs in to watch this? I think this is the idiot part of me that is being kept awake and entertained by this show. Because some of the stuff that happens in this show is just plain crazy. For instance, no one EVER calls the police, people find out they have been stalked and find pictures of themselves taken by the stalker but still NO ONE closes any of the blinds in their house. It's like, "yeah here I am - take more pictures of me, I left the curtain up for you." I almost scream out loud when I see this, but yet, night after night, I keep watching. Ugh, what am I doing?!

But maybe it's a good thing to have something silly to be entertained by? Probably not, but that will be my excuse. Life gets pretty crazy with everything going on - mostly with my work which can be pretty intense (I work with teams who help kids who are removed from their home or are almost going to be removed from their home and I am on call 24/7 so I hear a lot of crazyness). So at the end of a crazy day where a child has OD'd or they were taken to a psyc hospital, or an entire school district has told us they won't let a kid back into any of their schools for a particular reason, I guess that's why it's nice to just watch Pretty Little Liars. Kind of makes me forget about all of the crazyness in the world.

I also think that's why I love the idea of Mary Poppins. She comes to help the parents. Because all of these kids that I hear about at my work are all identified as the "problem" but when our teams go into these homes, man - if only their caregivers would realize what they are doing. Very, very sad. The dynamics in these homes are just very very sad.

So what a relief to come home to OUR HOME where I get to see Ava and Tony and our little min pin Rubi Mae. And how wonderful it is to see Ava run up to Tony to hug him and hear her pray for her food in the morning. And oh do I just love it when we have the music going, and Ava's playing, and our dog is running around, and then we decide to drive down to oceanside and see the Ford family, but we stop on the way at a viewpoint to see the ocean . . . I just love it. No, we are not perfect by any means, but man, we have fun and our daughter knows what love is.

So that's what I try and help the teams convey to the families they work with - the environment they are creating can be recreated so that they can have peace, and structure, and fun, trust, and safety. But it's a difficult task and sometimes, many things are working against the families. But I'm not giving up - we still try every day. And watching Pretty Little Liars . . . I think I will keep enjoying it :)

-Emily


“Things usually work out in the end."
"What if they don't?"
"That just means you haven't come to the end yet.”
-Jeannette Walls, The Glass Castle

My Love of Poppins

So, for those of you who know me, you know that I love love love Mary Poppins. And not just the movie with Julie Andrews either - the books by P.L. Travers as well. But the movie is by far my favorite. And, there is a movie coming out this December called Saving Mr. Banks. And it just looks wonderful. Tony has already promised to take me to see it (thank you Tony!)

Ava first saw Mary Poppins when she was two and then any time she wanted to watch it, she would say, "Pop!" One of our Christmas card photos was taken with Mary & Bert at Disneyland. I have a Christmas ornament of the umbrella with the parrot as the handle. My sister gave me a print of a picture with items from the movie. I really do love Mary Poppins.

But the reason why I love Mary Poppins all has to do with why she comes into the home of the Banks' family - she came so that the father would understand that his children need him. I love at the end of the movie when Mary is leaving and the parrot on her umbrella handle tells her, "They didn't even say goodbye - you know (the children) think more of their father than they do of you?" Mary: "That's as it should be." I love Mary Poppins.

Now Ava loves her daddy a whole whole bunch, and oh, does he love her so much too. Even before Ava was born, Tony would sing to her "Stand by Me". And just after she was born, I woke up one morning and I could hear him singing it to her as he rocked her in his arms. She was just a few days old.

I love that Tony gets to be with his daughter every single day of her life. He is there for the breakfasts, the meltdowns, the band-aids, the smiles, the prayers - all of it. And that's as it should be.

-Emily

Letter to my Ava

To my Ava,

It was just a slip-n-slide my girl. It's okay that you didn't quite know how to use the small, blow up kick board that came with it to slide down the thin piece of plastic. There was no need for tears, or to shout "I don't know how to do it!" I'm so sorry.

You have to understand that we may feel foolish and unsure of ourselves at times. And for some of us (myself included), it is a very uncomfortable feeling to try something new or to possibly mess up. But it will be okay. I promise. It was just a slip-n-slide.

But I know it meant more to you than just sliding down a piece of plastic that was so thin, and cheaply made. You worry about doing things right and not messing up. I get it. I'm just like you.

Oh but my girl - we will mess up every day. Even though we try not to. And it's okay to look silly, and to mess up - we will be okay.

I hope I haven't made you worry about always doing things right. And I can hear you right now if you were awake respond with, "But no one's perfect mommy - only God is perfect." So please remember that my girl.

Please remember that we can try really hard to do things well. But know we will mess up. And we can laugh about it. Or cry about it. But know this - that's why we needed a Savior. Not to make sure we go down slip-n-slides perfectly but to remind us that that's not what we need to worry about. Because, in the end, it's not about slip-n-slides. And I have to try everyday to remember why I am hear on earth. And then when we feel unsure about something, we just have to remember that our top priority is to bring Glory to God.

I am here to help you, my girl. I will try to mirror for you how to remain calm even though you are getting frustrated. I know what that feels like - oh believe me, I do. I don't want to frustrate you - but I know if you will just try, you might find yourself having a great time. Like you did today. You ended up having a great time.

Know this - I love you with all my heart. I love when you act silly. I love when you mess up - not because I enjoy watching you get frustrated but because I know that in the past, you wouldn't have tried at all. So this is a big step for you in some ways.

Keep trying, my girl. Because you really are brave. And you really are good at so many things. But it's not those things that make us proud. It is your kind heart. And your sensitivity. And your honesty. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. And we love you far more than words could ever convey . . .


-Mommy

Great Pico de Gallo

Ok so I wanted to share a quick, very easy recipe for pico de gallo. Many people may think this is all I am able to make since I often bring it/make it for gatherings, but for the record, I can make/cook a few other things that are pretty darn good (but not many).

So your ingredients:

1 bushel of cilantro
chopped tomatoes
chopped onions
El Pato yellow chiles
Salt
Very little pepper (I do two taps/shakes)
Very little garlic salt (I do 1 shake)

Now, I always buy already chopped tomatoes and onions from fresh & easy because chopping tomatoes is messy and ain't nobody got time for that. So if I'm making a good sized amount of this stuff, I literally dump 3 packages of chopped tomatoes into a bowl and about half of 1 package of chopped onions. I think each package is about 8 oz or so.

Mix together:
Chopped tomatoes
Chopped onions
Finely chopped cilantro (you'll probably use at least half of your bushel)
Pour in ONLY THE JUICE of the yellow el pato chiles into mixture (now don't pour in the whole darn thing - do about half first and see how that leaves you - add more if needed)
Stir

I then shake in a generous amount of salt, tad bit of pepper, and a tad bit of garlic salt. I have chips on hand to sample my product and then decide what I need to add more of.

Note about the yellow chiles: DO NOT (if you can help it) buy any other brand of yellow chiles other than the El Pato brand. I have tried about three other brands and none of them have the same taste I am looking for than the El Pato brand. I get mine at Ralphs - they do not carry it everywhere. You'll find it in the mexican food aisle (I always find mine on the bottom shelf).

So that's it! It's quick and easy if you already buy the tomatoes and onions chopped - the only thing that takes the longest is washing and chopping up the cilantro (but seriously, than takes 4 mins and 37 seconds).

Enjoy!!

-Em

I can see where this is going

I love phrases, I love quotes, and I love cracking up. So today on pintrest I saw a little caption which explained whenever someone tells you something or asks a question, you say "I can see where this is going." And because I'm a nerd, I cracked up.

I looovvvee cracking up laughing. It is one of my favorite pastimes. And I find I do it quite often whether I'm with my husband, my sister, mom, Ava, - really, with just about anyone. I find myself in situations which later I end up finding hysterical so I have to tell someone about them and then I end up cracking up laughing even more. Like the time I began to have a coughing attack ordering some pizza and the young girl behind the counter kept asking for my name so she could print it on my receipt/order slip to let me know when it was ready - but I kept coughing and couldn't manage to spit out what my three-syllable name was and while I finally managed to hold up an index finger as an indication to "hold on please for my name until my coughing attack subsides" she still just stood there looking at me. She didn't even run for water or appear concerned - she just seemed bored while I could have actually been dying. So finally she just punched something into the computer and handed me my order slip. I walked shamefully over to the one chair in the pizza waiting area, looked at my receipt, and saw she had picked a name for me - and she had named me Lady. I totally wish I would have saved that receipt! But I'm also not a hoarder so I'm glad I didn't. But I cracked up laughing later! And maybe you are not laughing at all and you're wondering why I found it funny, so if that's the case - I feel dumb. But I don't think I'm too dumb usually so no matter.

I love when Ava cracks up laughing. For those of you who have kids, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It warms my heart and even makes me laugh when I see Ava just crack up. Her eyes glisten and shine because she's laughing so hard, she's almost crying. She can hardly take a breath, she can't talk, and she is just loving the feeling of laughing so hard. And I pray in those moments that she remembers all the fun she has and knows how to have. Because life is tough. I pray she stays close to the Lord because this will make all the difference.

So I hope all of you have a moment this week to crack up laughing because those moments are out there! (But they shouldn't be at anyone's expense because that's downright mean!) I don't know why I felt the need to put that little disclaimer in BTW - that could be a little of that OCD in me coming out.

Have a great week!


From the movie Mary Poppins:
"The more I laugh
The more I fill with glee
And the more the glee
The more I'm a merrier me"

-Emily

Head Gasket

So I told you I would keep you updated as to how wonderful God is and I had to share how He continues to provide way beyond I could ever imagine.

Fun story - last week our car was shaking when we started it up in the morning. Felt like it was going to explode and I briefly thought about evacuating the car due to a possible explosion but I am also very lazy so I sat through it. Take the car in and people think it's something major like a head gasket. So Tony and I talk and yes, we have the money to take care of it and we praise God that we do. But we also are bummed that we would have to use this money for something like a head gasket rather than have more in our savings. But whatever - God has been faithful to provide. So as we are talking, and I'm voicing my disappointment about having to use this money, Tony begins to list all of the things we do have which of course puts everything into perspective and reminds me that I married a wonderful man who is patient, loving, and strong.

Couple of hours go by and I learn I am getting a bonus at work for the amount that a head gasket would cost. Boy did that just bring tears to my eyes. And it brings me back to remembering that the Lord is so faithful - and why did I ever doubt that?! So now, I don't have to use the money in our savings for the head gasket (BTW - I still don't know what a head gasket is or if I am even spelling it correctly).

Fast forward to today - turns out it's not going to be a head gasket. We are taking the car in this afternoon and the repair should be minimal. So the Lord continues to provide in abundance and why the heck was I even worried in the first place?!

Stories like this have been happening to our family and it just warms my heart to see the Lord at work. Yes, these are instances where I didn't have to wait long for an answer to prayer but even so, it helps me stay faithful that the Lord is working everything out according to His plan. Because it can't be my plan - that's when things DON'T work. So I will wait on Him always.

Side note: I just looked up what a head gasket is (courtesy of Wikipedia) -
A head gasket is a gasket that sits between the engine block and cylinder head(s) in an internal combustion engine. Its purpose is to seal the cylinders to ensure maximum compression and avoid leakage of coolant or engine oil into the cylinders; as such, it is the most critical sealing application in any engine, and, as part of the combustion chamber, it shares the same strength requirements as other combustion chamber components.

So the moral of the story is: Don't blow your gasket - it could be expensive (I know, it's corny but I just had to say it). But if you do, not to worry - God has it covered (if you are following Him of course).

-Emily-

So I started a blog . . .

So, yes, I decided to start a blog because I have so much downtime - it is just plain silly. No, but really, ever since I became a mommy, my brain has filled up to it's capacity and I forget many things throughout the day. So, what better way to record our family's history, fun facts, little tidbits, helpful info, etc then to write it down. It might not be exciting or intriguing reading for you AT ALL but I want to write things down while I still can and still remember (time just flies by the way - if you haven't already noticed).

First of all, I am a wife first - mommy second. Yes - I will say it, my first priority is not to be a mommy, but to be a wife. If you know me, you know I like order and there is a correct order to life. God, Wife, Mommy, Family, etc. There have been times where the order has been mixed up and it does not work! So I have to keep it in the correct order. If I take seriously my role as wife, then my daughter has a happy mommy, and my daughter is a happy daughter who feels secure, has stability, etc. If I'm a mommy first, then my husband doesn't get his full-wife potential which then causes us stress, which then can trickle down to our daughter . . . you get the picture. And I didn't start this blog so you can tell me my order seems silly or domesticated or 1950's. It is THE BEST ORDER and I am sticking to it.

For those of you who know me, I like to keep a clean home. If a drawer is sticking out, I will stop to push it in. I will wipe up spills and not leave them to dry (oh this just sounds horrible to me), I will not leave a wet towel bundled up to smell like mildew (yuck!). I do this all, not because I am OCD (but maybe this can be argued) but because I love love love my family. I want them to have the best environment to succeed, entertain, explore - you will not find clutter over here. There may be a cleaning blog in my future . . . fresh lemons by the way are wonderful at removing soap scum!

I find I have a busy life - I am a wife, mommy, therapist, wrap coordinator, housecleaner, negotiator, accountant, nurse's aid, asthma controller, make-sure-you-have-your-epi-pen nagger, and I try to do all of these things well. But if we are being realistic, my main reason for being on earth is to glorify God (oh wow do I fall short every darn day).

So maybe this blog is to record events so our family has some memories written down to look back on, but I hope it's also a way to help other people remember to take that huge weight off of your shoulders because, at the end of the day, we really have only one reason for being here on earth. And when you think of it that way, then life is quite easy. And the order to our life is easy to remember - God has to be first. And when God is first, AMAZING  things begin to happen which I will share with you as I continue these entries.

Some verses to leave you with:

"And what does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6:8

"Make a joyful shout to the Lord, all you lands! Service the Lord with gladness; Come before His presence with singing. Know that the Lord, He is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting. And His truth endures to all generations." Psalm 100:1-5

-Emily-