He ordered FOR me.

A few weeks ago, Tony and I went to dinner. I think it was our first date since having our son. But maybe not. It's hard to remember when you have a 9 month old feeding off your milk bags all night. But I'm almost positive. But not really.

We went to have a great dinner.

It was more than great.

Tony ordered for me. I had mentioned what I wanted but he took care of it all. Asked me my opinion sure - but took care of everything. If I needed another drink, he got it. When the server asked what we wanted, Tony did the talking. I just sat back and was taken care of.

It's not that I can't talk or order for myself - of course I freaking can. But to sit there and be taken care of by my husband and father to my children? Well that's quite possibly the sexiest thing ever.

Best dinner ever.

Best husband ever.

Best man ever.

The end.

Freaking Elf

I didn't think I would ever own a freaking elf on a shelf. I was totally against it. I read blogs and articles about how people should hate it and I agreed even though I didn't have one. My daughter wanted one last year so bad. And it didn't help that my sister had one last year.

Nope. Wasn't gonna do it.

And then this year came around. And my daughter still wanted one. And my mom shoved a 20% off coupon in my face to Bed, Bath & Beyond so I could go get it. I really didn't want to. But then we read the book it came with and I thought, "Hmmm, that's kind of cute." And I started to soften.

And now I just freaking love it.

Ava probably only has a couple more years of thinking there is a Santa. She asks me sometimes if there's a Santa now and I answer by asking her, "Do you think there's one?" Not that it will soften the blow at all when she finds out but I feel like I can't say yes. And then we talk about why we have Christmas. Because it's not about Santa.

This little elf has actually been quite fun to have around. It's pretty awesome to see how excited Ava gets to see where Rosabelle ended up the next morning. And I've TOTALLY gone there during a moment of desperation and said, "That little elf is watching you not listen!" Ugh. Yes, don't listen to me and be worried about consequences - worry about what the elf might tell Santa.

Great.

Tony's even gotten into it. He'll get up at night to move it. If he leaves for work before I wake up, he calls me and asks during the conversation where Rosabelle ended up. I love that he's a good sport.

My dad wouldn't have been a good sport. My dad wouldn't have even known we had one. But my mom would have got us one. Because she always wanted to do special things for my sister and I.

Christmas growing up is not something I totally remember. I remember some parts but they're not very pleasant. Because when you're growing up with an alcoholic, narcissist, grumpy man, it's not about Jesus or watching how excited the kids are. It's about him. And how everyone should wait for him. And how he's not ready yet. And look you went and started without me because I was purposely making you wait - so now I'm going to pout.

I'll stop. I could go on and on but I'll stop. My oils help me stop. But I will say this - my mom had to do so much. So, so much.

So Christmas NOW is just awesome. It's not just me wrapping gifts or setting up presents under the tree on Christmas Eve. It's Tony and me. And we are a freaking awesome team.

Merry Almost Christmas everyone,

-Em

One year ago . . .

Wow. Nearly 1 year ago, we were driving Ava to the emergency room because our thermometer gave a reading of 105.1. When we got to the hospital, they took it twice - first time was 106. Second time was 106.2 - I nearly lost it. What in the world was wrong with our little girl? I was ready to FREAK OUT.

Every year starting in the fall, Ava would get sick. And every year, it was getting worse.

Three years old - doctor says she has reactive airway disorder. Okay cool. Gives us two inhalers and a pill to take. Doesn't really seem to help her but whatever - follow the doctor. Then gets strep throat. Takes antibiotics. Goes away but comes back. So antibiotics again.

Next year - 4 years old. Gets strep throat TWICE. So two long rounds of antibiotics because again, the first round doesn't quite kick it to the curb. Plus always has her horrible coughing attacks. Getting a little more nervous. But whatever. Do as I'm told.

Following year. Five years old. I'm in the ER. She has 106.2 temp. I didn't even have to wait the six hours in the ER that you hear about - they just took us right in. Doctor came right in as we walked in. Someone came in with a bag labeled "stat" and started drawing blood. And I'm standing there helpless. And pregnant. What in the world is happening? Also thinking "how much is this costing me right now? I mean, I don't care - help my daughter. But oh man. The bill will be coming."

I'm still paying the bill.

That was the week I bought my oils. That was the week my life changed. That was the week I thought, I have to do something else. I have to try something else. This isn't working. Things are getting worse. Forget what I was doing. Why would I keep doing what wasn't working? Just FREAKING STOP.

This year was awesome. I threw away her inhalers and pills two weeks ago because they were expired. We haven't had to use them. She wasn't on antibiotics this past year. She didn't have strep throat. She's good. We're good. Haven't paid a co-pay for her this year. Yes, I'm still paying last year's hospital bill but whatever - at least I'm not adding to it. There are no more tums in my medicine cabinet. No pepto. No claritin. Threw them out. Expired. Haven't used them. We have benadryl for Tony and his epi-pen of course - we're not insane. But other than that? Our bathroom cupboards are pretty bare.

So yeah, nearly one year ago I decided to be different. I wasn't just going to stand there and be told. I started to move. And oh boy. Have things moved.

Maybe she wished she could lactate

I have so many questions for my dog child Rubi - does she regret not being able to have children? Does she wish she could lactate? All I know is this - anything breast milk touches, she chews up. It's like she's a freaking meth addict who waits until everyone leaves and then BAM - she's off to find her fix. She has eaten many of my shirts since we brought Jackson home from the hospital - she literally eats two holes through them - coincidentally enough, the holes happen to be in the exact same area where my milk bags reside when I am wearing the shirt. Hmmmm. Just the other day she somehow managed to pull my breast pump off of a stool, pull out the boob sucker things and ATE THEM TO PIECES. I yelled, she ran, and I had to run off to target that night to buy more lactation equipment. The VERY NEXT DAY she did the same thing.

That's when I got tears in my eyes.

I was so mad. I was so mad at my freaking dog. I was so mad at myself that I didn't put my pump up higher so that she couldn't reach it (I mean, I should have learned my lesson right? It was just 24 hours prior when she did the same thing), I was so mad that I feel like I run around all day and rush home as soon as I can to be with my babies. So there came the tears. 

I went to work today with only one suction cup breast thingy for my pump. Which means it would take me twice as long to pump since I could only do one side at a time. So when I was leaving for work this morning, I was not looking forward to my pumping sessions for the day. Then as I got halfway to work, I realized I didn't bring my freaking joy oil. Holy smokes. The day was not starting well. You know if I don't have my oils I may die right? 

So around noon, I shut and lock the door to my office, I pull out the one boob sucker thing, and I start making my free range, organic milk. With my other hand now free since I'm not pumping two boobs, I actually am able to drink my water, have a snack, play some candy crush, and sort of lean to the side in a relaxed position. 

Then the tears started again.

My boob suckers were meant to be eaten. I needed to only have one. I needed to sit and take my time - no rushing. I needed to stop and just be - the Lord needed me to just stop. JUST STOP. Don't rush. Take my freaking time. I am pulled in so many directions and I was losing my focus on the Lord. Because that's when everything starts to go wrong isn't it? When our eyes are not focused above. I have learned that lesson many times.

So I regrouped. I remembered why I am here on earth - to bring glory to God. That's it. That's the reason. 

My joy oil is ready for me in the kitchen when I wake up. I just washed my one boob sucker so that I can take it tomorrow to work. And now that I am reminded in a quite amusing way where the Lord needs to be, everything settles in quite nicely, doesn't it? 

And you know the tears started to flow again as I wrote that last part right? 

Yep, back on track.

-Emily

Things I know for sure . . .

Ahhhh, children are in bed, my breast pump stuff is washed and drying for tomorrow, and Tony put clean sheets on our bed today - all is well in the world.

I just rubbed a drop of peppermint oil on my stomach diluted because my tummy was feeling a little out of wack. Mommies can't be out of wack. And yes you read that right - I used only one drop. Just one. These oils are so powerful and pure and I respect that. Less is more in the oil world. And then they last for a long time. Ah, I love not paying for Ava's asthma meds anymore. Because that whole med fiasco kept turning into MORE - "oh you need to have her take TWO inhalers now, not just the one." Ugh, no - give me less.

I do love modern medicine too though - it seriously is brilliant. Organ transplants, reattaching limbs, etc. You should have seen how amazing doctors were helping my niece after she was born with a kidney issue that I can't even pronounce. Seriously amazing. And I only saw some of it. My sister saw the whole dang thing. But some peppermint for a tummy issue? Yes please. Hold the Tums.

There are some things I wish I had more of - like time. Or more hands. Or a housekeeper. But that really wouldn't help me now would it? If I had more time, I would just be busier. If I had more hands, they would be doing other things and not focusing on holding my babies. If I had a housekeeper, I would probably feel the need to tidy up before she arrived so what's the freaking point in that?

Here's a list of things I know for sure:
1. The Lord needs to be first. Believe me.
2. I will never buy another Nissan.
3. If you are carrying a bunch of items in your arms, your child WILL find you and WILL walk slowly right in front of you.
4. Always have water with you when nursing your child. As soon as your child starts to suck your milk bags, you will feel like you will DIE OF THIRST.
5. Learning how to type in high school was one of the greatest skills I learned.
6. Getting laser eye surgery will change your life.
7. One day, I will go to heaven.
8. I love my husband more today than I did when we got married.
9. Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Unless your child is screaming. Or unless someone is standing near you with an undercooked turkey leg. Then it's not the happiest.
10. If you have a small child, they will need you as soon as you sit down for a meal.                                    
11. Take care of your automobiles.
12. My arthritis/joint pain is basically non-existent when I don't have dairy.
13. Having good boundaries with people will change your life.
14. Saying no is perfectly fine.
15. Act your wage (shout out to Dave Ramsey right here)
16. My children mean the world to me. I pray for them EVERY SINGLE DAY.
17. You do not need to know how to fold a fitted sheet. If you do know how to fold a fitted sheet, I will still like you.
18. Giving parenting advice is always a wonderful idea (I HOPE YOU ARE PICKING UP MY SARCASM).
19. Never ask someone if they are pregnant.
20. Children will have to poop whenever you leave the house.

Happy Thursday everyone.

-Em

I want a do-over

So I haven't mentioned this to anyone but Tony but I want a do-over. I would love if you could rewind time and back it up to when I thought my water broke early Sunday morning on March 16th. I want to stay at home that day and see if I could wait until Monday the 17th when I would of had a different anesthesiologist for my c-section. And the past few times recently that I've had to go back to my doctor for a postpartum check or to pick up a doctor's note, the smell of everything in those offices brings me right back to all of those prenatal appointments and feeling Jackson move inside of me. And I see all of those pregnant women in there and I wish it was me sitting there waiting to be called. Waiting to hear my son's heartbeat on the doppler. It's not that I'm wanting a third child - I want to re-do what happened. Because some parts I loved and I want to go through it again. And some parts were really hard and I wish it could be changed.

I loved so many parts of Jackson's birth and staying in the hospital. We were relaxed walking into the hospital, we felt calm and prepared, the nurses prepping me for surgery were great, Ava was being cared for back at home - just perfect.

Then the anesthesiologist started his work. I'm hunched over a table, trying to stay calm, yes I'm a little nervous of course but I've had a c-section before so I'm not freaking out. And my right leg just jolts up as I feel this electric current through my back and down the back of my leg. It hurt. Bad. And then I start tearing up but it just keeps hurting as I feel the pressure on my back and the pain. So now I'm crying and the nurse sort of jokingly says, "Awe Dr. so and so, you made her cry." So I try to laugh too thinking, ok that's over now, just take everything in right now - your son is about to be born.

Well then I just can't seem to stop the tears flowing from my eyes. I'm trying to lay there and appear so happy and as though "I've got this" but I can't stop crying. And then all of the tugging and pushing and I can't seem to calm down. I start to feel sick to my stomach and I try to ask the doctor for help. But he seems to have ADHD or something and was not sitting right by my head like the doctor who was with me when I had Ava. So he finds his way over and says, "remember -we talked about this - you may feel sick." Sort of in a condescending way like I'm a child. Sort of in a way that gets me to stop talking. And then more tugging, can't breathe well because everyone's reaching in everywhere - and then I hear crying. Awesome cries coming from our baby. And I just tried to just focus on his crying and listening for his stats to get myself through the final part of this surgery. I hear someone say "8 pounds 11 ounces!" And I remember thinking "wow, he's a big boy." But then the dry heaving started and I thought I might choke or aspirate on my vomit. They brought Jackson over to my face so I could see him and everyone around me is happy, and talking, and there's music playing, and all I can do is nod to show "yes, I see him." But I really just wanted them to take him away. Because I felt so sick.

I want to do that whole part over. I want it to be different.

Everything after that was great. I mean, seriously awesome. Ava got to hear the news first that she had a brother. She got to see him first and we just hung out together - our new family of 4. We had so few visitors which is what we wanted - I nursed whenever Jackson wanted to, didn't have to worry about modesty at all, loved the nurses that helped me and brought me drinks. It was all about caring for my baby, healing from surgery, and just taking it all in. When I had Ava, I felt like it was all about visitors and me thinking "let me wait until they leave to feed her" - it wasn't about healing and caring for my baby. It was caring for my company. And that was wrong.

So this part, after having the baby but still being in the hospital was AWESOME. The nurses were on it. It was amazing. I loved getting up at night when Tony and Jackson were asleep and cleaning up the room, putting everything in it's place. I would walk at night around the hall and then feed Jackson while watching Law & Order SVU on the tv. Tony got my oils out and gave me a foot massage with my orange oil. The room smelled delicious and clean from that oil. We opened the blinds every day and the sun shined in. Ava did her homework afterschool with us at the hospital. An old friend from my swim team days was a nurse there and came into see me and we talked and talked one night. The lactation consultant was the same one I had with Ava and we talked about where she moved recently and where her boys went to school. I felt like a mommy again. I felt wonderful.

I know I can't have a do-over. I get that. And I'm not one to dwell on things very long so I don't know why this keeps coming up for me. So that's why I figured, maybe I need to write everything out - just to get it all out.

I love my babies like you wouldn't believe. And I know I can't do the parts over that I wished were different.

But I still want a do-over.

-Emily

Happy Father's Day!

It's 4am and I'm wide awake. Like, let's get involved in a trivia match right now because I'd just freaking kill it. I think it's because for almost 3 months now, Jackson has wanted to eat every 1 hour and 45 mins round the clock and for the past week or so, he's decided, "You know, now I think I will sleep for 6 hours straight." SIX HOURS. Ho-lee-mother I am so well rested and stoked right now I seriously considered digging out some workout clothes and going for a morning jog. But then I thought, "it's dark outside - what if I run into a coyote?" So then I briefly thought about doing the dishes but I shuddered so here I am blogging instead.

It's also father's day today which I love. I love watching Tony with his babies. They love him. He loves them. And he gets to be with them every darn day. I freaking love that. Because he gives something to our family that I can't give because I'm a mommy. If Ava's scared or thinks she heard something, it's all about daddy. Daddy will fix it. Daddy will make sure I'm safe.

The other night, we were coming home from something and as Tony was unlocking the door, he must have sensed something wasn't right so he went inside to check everything. He just opened the door, said "don't come in - wait right here" like his ears or something alerted to who-knows-what. Everything turned out fine so I'll save you the suspense, but just knowing his strong presence was there to do whatever manly thing needed to be done - I love that. He would stand between us and danger in a second. And we feel safe.

He doesn't just contribute safety to the family in case you're thinking we just use him as our bodyguard. He's the one who doesn't freak out if someone is hurt. He sets an even tone for chaos. He's the let-me-cook-you-breakfast-in-the-morning (did you catch that people? COOK. The most I do is put cereal bowls out in the morning). He loves reading Shel Silverstein to our children. He just started reading the Harry Potter series to Ava. He can totally give "the look" and Ava knows he means business. *I have a look too by the way but when it doesn't work, I've totally resulted to "I'm going to have to tell your dad when he gets home" and it immediately straightens our child out.

So fathers are a really big deal. Like, really big. And part of me right there wanted to say they are bigger than mommies - that's how important they are. Some of you might disagree with me on that point. But deep down in my gut, it just feels right to say. I know I'm important to my children. But I KNOW Tony is important to his children. Maybe it's because I know what it's like when the dad is not too "with it." But now that I'm married and have children and see how awesome Tony is with Ava and Jackson, dang it means so much to have an awesome Father, you know? And biblically, hello! Referring to the Lord as our Father and everything that means - Father's are a big deal! A huge deal.

Happy Father's Day people. Your families need you more than you may think.

-Emily

Three Minutes

Three minutes - that was my goal time to spend in the shower relaxing and breathing with no one around. Like, with no interruptions. Just three minutes. Now, Jackson was in his bassinet in the bathroom with me so I sort of had a stalker anyway. But with the shower curtain closed, I had a few minutes, I hoped, to myself. About 45 seconds in, Ava pulled the curtain back because she wanted to show me a magic trick. A magic trick with a blueberry. And she needed to attempt it twice because the first time, the blueberry rolled away. So now I'm lathering up nodding my head with an energetic encouraging smile on my face to show her I am interested and I am freaking amazed by this blueberry trick. I totally love her.

Since the curtain is pulled back, I notice she still has no shoes on for school. And Jackson has a toy laying right on his face. Cute. So now I'm laughing because this whole situation makes me laugh and because, who was I kidding? I wasn't going to get 3 minutes today in the shower with no interruptions.

I am just taking this all in right now because one day, my children won't live here with me and I will wish Ava was little again to show me her blueberry magic trick. Lathering myself up in some mood elevating oils helps too.

Happy Thursday everyone!

-Em

Yeah, I TOTALLY know what's going on

So I haven't looked into it yet, but maybe there's an oil for forgetfulness due to being tired/being milked/being tired. There must be! And I will find it! Because I just keep forgetting everything and then when people talk to me, they assume I know exactly what they are talking about but I don't. OR as they are talking it then jogs my brain and I remember! BUT I can't make it too obvious that at first I didn't know what they were talking about and then the light bulb came on.

Because at first I'm overly confident and I'm thinking "clearly, this sweet person is talking to the wrong person but I'll just nod along politely because that's how I roll" and then BAM - in my head the memory floods right back and I think, holy crap! Ava DOES have Sarah's birthday party tomorrow and this lady is asking me about it. Do I know this person? Is this Sarah's mom (which would  be even MORE horrifying)? No wait - I don't think it's Sarah's mom but it is clearly someone from Ava's daisy troop. And now she has PAUSED which clearly indicates she asked me a question while I was kicking myself and I now have to come up with a response. Oh my.

I have found laughing and smiling does the trick sometimes for two reasons - 1) It just may be an accepted response to the situation and no one gets hurt when we go our separate ways. 2) It may show I was confused and then they will have some pity on me and we can still be friends.

I wasn't always like this. I swear! I was very good with names, people, faces, etc. I wrote things in my calendar but who are we kidding? That was just for show because I would have remembered the appointment, the weekly schedule, the month and year Tony had his last root canal (yes, he has had more than one). I used to be ON FIRE. Now, the fire is clearly gone and I am at the mercy of my phone reminders or I just forget anyway after I turn the phone reminder off (sigh).

I walked excitedly into a place the other day to have a couple hours of pampering with no children and without being milked and the lovely man at the desk asked me who I was there to see. I confidently and clearly stated "Tessa" because I just knew I couldn't possibly have the name wrong of the person who was going to let me hang out in their establishment kid-less. Oh no. The lovely man had a blank look on his face. I started to panic. He turns to the woman next to him who then looks at me. So I began to just ramble - "Oh I must have heard the name wrong. I'm sorry. I have a newborn. I'm always tired (insert please-help-me-smile). This rambling seemed to have helped because a customer in the store reached out and touched my arm and smiled. So that was nice. So they handed me over to someone named Stephanie (probably the closest name to Tessa they could find in their establishment so that I wouldn't feel too bad) and all was well again.

So I'm hoping this just lasts for a little bit longer because having my old brain back would be really nice. And I think it will. I am hopeful (insert smiley face). BUT I am going to search for an oil for this because there's an oil for everything else so I am confident!

Happy Saturday!

-Emily

"Things have changed." - Ava

Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones leaving my body. Or maybe it's just what happens when you add another child to your family. But when you forget to find your oldest child during a game of hide-and-seek, you feel BAD. I mean really bad - like tears spring up in your eyes as you look at your first born who asks you "mommy why didn't you come find me? Aren't we still playing?" The child I always had time for and I forgot we were playing a game. How does that happen? I was counting to 30 and in a few minutes, I just totally forgot. Where is my brain? 

Things have changed for sure. And while most of it is wonderful it is also much more tricky. Dinner time on is tricky as I have a child stuck on my boob, another one who needs to eat, I would like to eat, our dog wants to eat, then there's bath time, reading, etc. And Ava wants me to scratch her head in bed AND read the book but Jackson is crying. Hmmm, tricky. 

I know Ava was okay that I didn't come find her right away during our game. But I was not okay. So what do I do to make it up to her to show her I haven't forgotten her? I enroll her in swim lessons. How fun. Something else to get out the door for with a baby on my boob. And be on time. And I hope I don't forget. I already put it in my calender with an hour reminder time but who knows? Maybe once I hit snooze on the reminder, I'll forget. Because this also just happened. Ava had a daisy troop outing and my phone's alarm went off. So I hit dismiss and I proceeded to get her permission slip and made the loud announcement in the house "Don't forget - you have daisies in an hour!" And then I forgot. No one took her. And at at six o'clock I yelled out, "we forgot your daisy meeting!" How did I forget in an hour? There's got to be an oil for that :) 

So in a nutshell, I'm still trying, and trying to do better. And I know our children are loved and feel loved. I really do know this. But man, those little moments when you let your kids down - that hurts. And all I could think of to say was sorry - mommy's so sorry. Which I guess is good in a way - Ava will see it is good to apologize to others and to make things right. But I think that's still just me trying to make myself feel better. I won't beat myself up too much - I think this is all part of it, part of the transition to having another baby. And it really just was an accident. But that incident just keeps popping up in my mind at random moments. Dang being a parent is hard. But it's so great too. 

Happy Tuesday everyone.

-Emily

I am now the crazy oil lady

So yeah, it's been since October since I started using young living oils and I can now officially say I am the crazy oil lady. I totally see it in people's eyes when they come over with horrible allergies and they look at me nervously when I ask them if they want me to make them a capsule - they look a little frightened. Of course I also tell them they don't need to take it if they don't want to or if they're not comfortable with it or check with you doctor first, etc. But they are usually pretty curious so they down it. Then they're amazed when it works. And then we laugh together because the whole thing still seems so weird and wacky to me. Because how can a few drops of lemon, lavender, and peppermint help their allergies? I know - weird.

Premium Starter Kit I got back in October (it came with freaking 11 oils and a diffuser):

But what also is so weird is how I used to readily give Ava some claritin whenever her allergies were crazy (because allergies trigger her asthma and oh Lord, my anxiety would go up) and she would suffer horrible bloody noses from the allergy meds. So now I had a child who wasn't suffering from allergies anymore but instead would have bloody noses for a few days. Well that's great. By the way - the side effect for Ava from me putting the allergy trio on the bottoms of her feet? No allergies.

Allergy trio that works for us:

Now, even I must say an oil one person uses for a headache may not help me with my headache. I found that out when everyone swore by YL peppermint rubbed on my temples for a headache - did not help me one bit. But luckily there are other oils to try (just like there's other meds to try for migraines) and I found my choice oil! A drop of thieves on my thumb pressed to the roof of my mouth for 30 seconds. Now, let's all laugh together right now (hahahaha) because that is just plain wacky. But I would usually take 3 extra strength rapid release tylenol for a migraine so since I don't do that anymore, my liver thanks me greatly.

So I really really really want to have an oil party so I can explain what carrier oils are, show everyone my bag of tricks, show peeps how I make foot cream, etc. because I soooo wish I could have learned some of this stuff early on from someone in person. But my friend Ashley so willingly answered all of my questions through email, text, facebook, etc (she lives far away from me) and was so patient with me as I learned and asked questions. And I invite you all to do the same too! Seriously - ask me your questions and I will try to help you because I am literally up all hours of the night and day feeding a human. And also, let me know if you want me to add you to our oil group on facebook. That's how I started learning about all of this young living oil stuff. 

I do want to mention I only use young living oils - nothing else. Someone who I love dearly (name will be withheld) tried to help her child's eczema by using some store bought oils - they didn't work. So her conclusion? Essential oils don't work. Wrong! They do work if you are using 100% pure therapeutic grade oils. Luckily, this person tried young living and her daughter's skin looks amazing. So yeah . . . she is now a crazy oil lady too.  

So talk to your doctor if you are on meds, come over to my house and check out my collection, ask me questions, laugh at me - whatever floats your boat. Because I was the person laughing when I heard about oils but now I laugh even more because I have found them to work wonders for my family and I haven't had to pay for Ava's asthma meds for months. Take that singulair and albuterol! (I know, I know, that sounds so stupid and cheesy but I am running on fumes for sleep so please forgive me).

Ava's asthma oils:

Happy Wednesday!

-Emily

Pregnant no more!

Well hooray for a new baby and the return of sleeping on my stomach! Phew - that was a long nine months but our Jackson is HERE and we are sooo excited! He came into the world last Sunday, March 16th crying his lungs out, weighing in at 8lbs 11oz - yikes! That's a big baby!

It started Sunday morning at 4:30am - I was awake walking around the house when I bent over to get my phone - a gush of something nasty came out and I said "uh oh." Tony then said, "what's 'uh oh'?" I said, "I think my water broke." Well, I then proceeded to take a shower, shave my legs and then do what any pregnant mama should do when they think their water breaks - wait for Trader Joe's to open at 8am so I could get some grocery shopping done before we went to the hospital. So I stuck a pad on (sorry for all of this TMI stuff) and waddled around a grocery store. Ha! I am an idiot sometimes. But I really needed to go to the store!

So we get to the hospital and they ask if I've been having contractions. "Yes, sometimes - maybe every 20 minutes or so." So I get hooked up to the monitors and it turns out I am having contractions but not every 20 minutes - more like every 4-5. So they tell us we will be admitted to the hospital. Hooray!

 I ended up having a c-section (I had one scheduled for the next day anyway) and since then, everything has been just awesome. The recovery from surgery this time seems easier, breastfeeding is WAY EASIER, and you just know more about how to care for a human being the second time around - MUCH MORE RELAXING!! With your first child, it's like "here's your child - good luck to you!" and you try to tackle breastfeeding, figuring out if you should pump between feedings, do you change your child's diaper if they are sound asleep, etc - very overwhelming. So this time around - ahhhhh, much easier in many ways. A little tricky though too since there is another child in the mix who still has a jog-a-thon at school, school picture money to turn in - and oh yeah, a birthday party to attend (to name a few). Luckily, that has all gone well too. Phew, what a juggling act. I don't know how people with more than two kids do it - I have the utmost respect for those of you out there! Seriously.

 We seriously though could not have done any of this without help from family. My mom and Tony's mom seriously saved the day with taking Ava to and from school, feeding her, cleaning up dishes, feeding us - it was freaking awesome to just BE and only have to focus on feeding a baby, spending time with Ava, eating, showering, and sleeping. Then my sister came to visit which was great - Ava got to play all day with her cousins, my sister jumped to get me water or anything else I needed - again, FREAKING AWESOME. 

Praise the Lord though that it is Ava's spring break this week and Tony is still off work. It is 11am and we are all still in our pajamas. So that will be the big task next week - can we get our child to school with some food packed, looking decent all before 8am? Hmmmm, we will see.

But seriously, perfect timing from the Lord when our Jackson would arrive - He knew we would need some time to adjust and spring break for Ava was the answer! Seriously. Love it. So my heart is full and our family feels full and I am just so in love with Tony, Ava, and Jackson. My cup runneth over.

-Emily

Just a couple more days . . . :)

It's soooo quiet in my house right now. It's 4:29am and I am just sitting in the living room finishing up some things I wanted to get done before our new baby arrives. I paid some bills, updated my young living oil autoship order, and even laid out Ava's outfit for Monday since it will be Saint Patrick's Day and she needs to wear green.

Because this baby will be here Monday at the latest. I have a c-section scheduled if I don't have him between now and Monday. And seeing that it is already 4:31am on Saturday morning, I don't see myself spontaneously going into labor in the next two days. So Monday it is! We will have a Saint Patrick's baby.

Everything is ready to go - like, literally everything. From Ava's Big Sister gift being wrapped and ready to be opened to the money we will pay Monday morning for my c-section.

It's so wonderful the way God works. And you can see Him working when you seriously hand everything over to Him to arrange - not that we just then sit back and do nothing - being prepared, active, and wise etc is huge too. But to constantly look to Him and then not have that WORRY is one of the greatest feelings ever.

He seriously arranged so many things this past week just to make it that much easier for us to move forward with peace and security. We received a generous gift in the mail of four gift cards which was AMAZING and totally out of the blue. One of our tax returns was just deposited into our checking account today. AMAZING. And I love watching all of this come into play - because I literally smile or tear up and immediately think, "Thank you, Lord." And I relax even more and even laugh a little thinking back to all those years when I would worry about finances or how things would be - and of course things would be stressful because the Lord was not included in the equation. So what a comforting and secure feeling to wait and see everything unfold so perfectly. My cup runneth over.

So our little boy will be here very soon. And we are ready. And soooo excited. We have waited and waited and waited for this day. And my heart will grow again when he is born as I will have another baby to love.

"If I am thinking correctly," said Pooh, "a new baby is probably, undoubtedly, the grandest gift that ever could be."

-Emily

Moms Just Know

Mom's just know - or they should know probably, or maybe they don't know so if that's the case, then I don't know and just forget it.

But, I just knew that Ava needed an antibiotic yesterday and I was not leaving urgent care until I got it from the doctor. I seriously was not leaving. My huge uterus was staying put in the chair until I was handed the prescription. Which is seriously a little weird for me because I have always just listened to doctors, did what they said, and didn't speak up. But this is what I did last year when Ava got pneumonia - I just went along with the doctor even though her temp kept rising, and even though I kept calling them to give them updates, and even then they still told me it was just a virus and "let it run it's course." And look where that got us? A trip to the ER with a child who had a 106.2 temperature - yes you read that right! 106.2! And how did they treat it? With antibiotics.

So naturally my anxiety started to rise when the doctor wanted to just send us on home yesterday and told us Ava had the flu and to just rest. I will have to say I am proud of myself for remaining calm at 9 months pregnant but also clearly explaining my case and advocating for Ava. Ava had puss pockets on her throat and was coughing up awful green phlegm! And was now running a temp! In my head, I'm thinking "this is an infection." And an infection she has had before that cleared up beautifully with antibiotics and then we were all on our merry way in life. So she listened to what I had to say but then said that she would prescribe Ava tamiflu and cough medicine - not an antibiotic. NOOOO!!! - is what I was shouting in my head. But out of my mouth came something very tame but also very clearly showed that I did not agree and yes, me and my huge uterus are still sitting here until you change your mind.

Now, I'm totally not saying we just always need to battle the doctors we see because most are wise and helpful - not saying this AT ALL. I have tons of respect for the doctor's we have for our family and are great! But I just felt like once this doctor honed in on "it's the flu," it blinded her to see anything else. So hooray to the doctor who took the time to listen to me even though she might have thought I was one of "those moms."

So last night, she took the antibiotic, and after that, didn't cough once, went to school today and is jumping around. It was not the flu. She is doing wonderful!

So listen to your instincts mamas! And when we need to be an advocate, I believe there is a way to do this with grace, manners, but some firmness, etc. Now of course, I have sucked at this on many occasions and just ended up sounding mean and degrading. So I am still working on it. But I want to show Ava it is okay to disagree with people but we can still be kind. Man, this whole parenting thing is so amazingly intricate! But it is the best job in the world!

- Emily

Operation Baby

I feel like I am preparing for every scenario possible with this child who will be born soon. There are all of these "what if's" going on in my head and I feel like I am training for some covert operation and need to be ready for whatever flies my way. I literally just typed a two page document listing Ava's schedule and her activities along with important phone numbers, name of her teacher, how many dairy items she can have per day, when her daisy troop meetings are, how to apply oils to her if she is coughing, etc. There is one for our dog too.

And I'm also making little piles everywhere with important documents. I have the "girl scout pile" with the money that needs to be turned in so if I'm not around to deliver it, it can be located and taken to Ava's daisy troop meeting. I also have a "tax pile" with all of our documents ready for our tax guy who we will see soon but, who knows? Maybe I won't see him soon. My goal for tomorrow is to stock up on toilet paper and food items for Ava so the person watching her while we are gone will be able to use our toilet without worrying. This time around being pregnant is soooo different.

When I was pregnant with Ava, we of course had things to plan for but we did not have another child who needed arranging. We just drove to the hospital at midnight, I had my sister straighten my hair first (what a stupid thing to do by the way), and all we had to remember was to lock the door when we left our home. That was it. I didn't need to have meals available for another human being, or directions for medicine written out, or a reminder for when library day is at school. We just blew away into the wind and came home with our beautiful Ava.

Now, I'm actually not stressing. It may seem like I am but I'm not. I am really glad I am getting all of this done because that makes me feel better. I do quality assurance stuff for work so me being organized is just a way of life for me. I'm getting the things done that I know I have control over. And I also know that flexibility is key to this whole birth thing because babies have their own agenda - and so does God. So while, yes, I am prepping and getting prepared, I also feel very relaxed in that the Lord has all of this covered.

I am literally just savoring these final weeks (or days - who knows?!) until our son comes. I am in a perfect place right now and just am thanking the good Lord for arranging all of this in His time. Because we had prayed for so long to have this baby - and now it is almost upon us! And the timing is just perfect. All of the noise around me - I just am shutting it out and focusing on our little expanding family. I am at such peace and peace like this only comes from the Lord.

So thank you to all who will be helping us with our sweet Ava while we are gone having our son! We could not do any of this without you! And I know she will be taken care of so well so that puts me right at ease.

I can't wait for this little baby to greet us all!

-Emily

It worked!!

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am that our first attempt at getting a sick child better with only oils worked! I have used young living essential oils for other things of course - especially Ava's asthma which has been amazing. But I haven't had to use them for someone getting full on sick. And I'm still a believer in medicine too so don't get all nutty about it (for instance, if Tony needs to use his epi-pen, I'm not going to do a trial run with oils while he's sitting there with his throat closing).

But yesterday's attempt worked!

So she had a temp of 101 in the morning so I diluted two drops of YL (young living) peppermint oil and rubbed it on her spine. I also put thieves on her feet and diffused it as well. She also sounded a little stuffy so I put a drop of lavender down the bridge of her nose and some lemon on the sides of her neck. Within a couple of hours, temp was down to 98.5 and she wanted to eat and play. Then it went up a tad to 100 and later to 100.8 but my hubinero and later my mother put some peppermint under her armpits ever few hours. Also diffused some purification and lemon throughout the day. So when I got home from work, her temp was at 99 but she had this nasty cough. I immediately had flash backs to when she suddenly developed pneumonia last year so I started to get a little worried (that's what prompted me buy the premium starter kit last year). But I put some RC on her chest, diffused some more thieves and had her drink some tea with one drop of thieves. Later she took a bath with some baking soda and two drops of lavender.

Today she is fine and went to school. Her nose is a little runny but she hasn't freaking coughed once. And I am so happy because this is not typical for her when she gets sick like this. If she starts with a cough and fever, it has almost always developed into an infection and there we are getting antibiotics from the doctor. We all know our kids and how things typically go for them so this was awesome! Now, we did have the Tylenol ready if her temp went over 102.5 or so but we never needed it. I am thrilled! Saved me a large copay at the doctor and best of all, Ava didn't have to suffer for days.

Now, I do want to say I put a lot of effort into researching the oils I wanted to buy. Hands down it is Young Living. I do not use anything else. I have in the past - they don't work so that's why I wasn't a believer at first in essential oils. I just wanted to throw that out there in case you're thinking of running over to sprouts and grabbing a cheap bottle of peppermint off the shelves. Don't waste your money (or risk your health - those contain synthetics as well as other crazy additives). So anytime I talk about using oils, know that I only exclusively use Young Living.

I also want to put out there that we are also cautious about using them as well. I'm not just dousing my family members with it haphazardly and of course if you're on meds for other things, be wise about your health and talk to your doctor about using new remedies. I did a ton of research on what to use while pregnant. Ava knows not to just start opening bottles of my oils and using them - no way. Only mom or dad can touch them. We handle them the same way as medication. I'm constantly reading and learning. I'm taking charge of our health over here people! And I needed to - the side effects of Ava's asthma meds are long and some even insane yet I just gave them to her because the doctor told me to (even though they didn't work very well anyway). The more I learn about things, the more I want to be an advocate. Yesterday I read the warning label for children's Ibprophen - stomach bleeding. Really?!

And again - don't think I'm against doctors or medical professionals or medications - I'm not. I just so far haven't needed them in the past few months that I've used these oils. No one in my family has actually (now that I think about it). But do you think I'm going to pass up the epidural when I give birth in a few weeks because I'm thinking an oil will help me?! No way! Pass the epidural Mr. Anesthesiologist! So you see, I haven't gone crazy.

So now I'm just doing some preventative stuff for Ava now that she's getting over being sick. I sent her to school with RC on her chest and thieves on her feet and I'll probably do that for a few more days. And she even told me last night that she was so happy she didn't have to take any yucky medicine. Fun times all around!

-Emily

Oh for crying out loud

I am writing this because I am confused. I don't think I know what a contraction is versus a braxton hicks contraction versus cramps versus who-knows-what. I also don't even know if I spelled braxton hicks correctly, but whatever.

Everyday recently there is something going on with my uterus. First, I start to feel warm, and then like my stomach is tightening, which then makes it a little hard to take a breath. It lasts for about 1 minute - sometimes longer. It's not that it really hurts though. But it's not that I'm just sitting there relaxed either.

Yesterday I had quite a few in an hour but then they stopped and I went to sleep. So obviously, a child popping out was not the end result so that's why I think it's not a contraction. But I don't know if that's the right answer.

So today I called my doctor to ask for clarification as to what the difference is between a real contraction and a braxton hicks thing. I don't really think they had an answer either. They just kept telling me "if you have more than 6 contractions in an hour, then go to labor and delivery to get checked." To which I kept responding, "but is it a contraction or just one of those braxton hicks things?" And then they wouldn't answer me but instead ask me something else like "are you drinking water?" So then I would come back around again with the same question thinking they must not have understood me. And then again "go to labor and delivery if you have more than 6." Me: "More than 6 what? Braxton hicks things even though it may not be a contraction?" And again some random comment: "when's your birthdate?" I felt a little like I was in crazyland but then I just figured, they must not be understanding me - maybe I'm not being clear. So I'd throw my question out there again a different way: "So if the tightening lasts for a minute, then it's a contraction?" hoping they would just fire back with an answer already. Nope. I even tried to speak more slowly thinking maybe I'm mumbling and need to work on my enunciation. Oh forget it.

I did not experience any of this with Ava. That girl did not ever make the slightest move to leave my uterus. I was overdue, induced, got to 10 centimeters, pushed forever, and then had my uterus sliced open finally so they could go in and get her. This boy I think wants out. So the only "contractions" I have ever known were when they were coming at regular intervals (and painful!) because of pitocin.

I know people have contractions before their due date - I understand that part. But if something is happening at regular intervals but they ARE NOT PAINFUL, do you still call your doctor? See, I don't want to go to labor and delivery and then find out I'm wrong and have to waddle back to the car embarrassed. I also get that you should go anyway because better safe than sorry. Ugh, things are so confusing sometimes.

So my prediction is that this little boy will be here before my due date. If he's not, I will be very surprised. We also need a name too for our son so if anyone has the answer to that question, that would be greatly appreciated.

Maybe his name should be Braxton . . . ? Hmmm, interesting idea.

-Em

Asthma? What asthma?!

So time for my asthma update! Ever since using Young Living oils, my daughter Ava has not had to use her inhalers or her Singulair AT ALL during this time of year! This is seriously a miracle! She has been on these meds since she was around 3 1/2 so I am sooo glad she will not be using these meds with all of their side effects for years and years. Woo hoo!

Also the hubs has come on board with the oils which has been quite amusing and exciting! The other day he was feeling sick and he always heads for some airborne - still was sick after trying it for a couple of days so I said, "can I just make you a capsule already?" So, there he was swallowing a capsule made by yours truly filled with 5 drops of thieves, 5 drops of lemon, and the rest filled with grapeseed oil - took another one in the morning. Was totally fine. He finally admitted it worked and tried really hard not to smile and show his true feelings but he could not resist! Ha!

My fun little mother even called me one night and said, "I have puss pockets on my throat - I'm getting sick. I figured you had something." Hang on mom! Let me run right over! She gargled with thieves and lemon and swallowed one of the homemade capsules, took another capsule in the morning, and was totally fine and back in business. I'm loving this hippie/witch doctor business.

And none of us Dual's over here have been sick this winter season - NOT ONE OF US! All because of thieves!! No one got the flu, Ava did not get her usual strep throat, I've been waddling around fine as a pregnant lady - what a fun adventure!

I just recently stopped using deoderant too (gasp!). Well, just the deoderant that contains aluminum. So I have some all natural stuff now but also will sometimes just make my own. Don't worry - I don't stink. But if I ever do, please tell me! Because who wants to walk around stinking all day?

But in all seriousness, I am trying to help my fam stay away from as many chemicals as they can. There are so many disorders, diseases, etc nowadays - I firmly believe it is because we, as a society, have strayed away from "natural" things to processed/chemical ridden things. We weren't designed to ingest all of this processed stuff. The good Lord gave us plants and things that grow naturally from the earth with sun and water - what a perfect design! The farther I have strayed from natural things, the worse I have felt - mirgraines, arthritis pain, etc. So now I'm just getting back to basics. I'm not doing all of these things perfectly by any means, but it's a start and I feel so much cleaner and happier.

So if any of you want to learn more about these oils, I can add you to some facebook groups to learn more. Or come over to my house and try what I have. You will love it! Because the only side effects so far I've experienced from the oils are healthy family members and no more asthma. You should read the list of side effects of Singulair!

Happy New Year folks!

-Em